9 Oct 2013 by Adeline Lum CM-
More than 70 people gathered in Church of St Thomas More in Subang Jaya to listen to Pastor Edmund Smith, Founder of the Real Love Malaysia (RLM), to talk about sexual issues on Oct 5. He expounded on the different groups of sexually broken people and its biblical implications.
According to Smith, triggers of homosexuality are rooted in three areas:
- Self-hatred and self-rejection of one’s gender and appearance
- Vacuum issue of not getting enough love from one parent
- Barrier issue caused by negative experiences with the opposite sex
In the first trigger, a child may grow up hating her own appearance, thus rejecting herself. She admires the beauty of her friend wanting to be like her, spending increasingly more time with her friend. And finally at puberty, she desires be one with her friend, turning the friendship into a sexual pursuit.
For the second trigger, the lack of love from a parent of the same gender causes the grown-up child to seek approval and love from a same-sex gender to fill the existing vacuum. For the child to develop a healthy gender identity, he or she must have the masculine and feminine love of respective father and mother.
For the third trigger, rejection and abuse by parent of the opposite gender can cause barrier issues. For example, a woman who was abused by her father may prefer a woman as a sexual partner, due to her marred perception of men.
How do we resolve these issues? In RLM, persons engaging in homosexual lifestyles can seek support and change in a three-year basic recovery program.
Jerry who was attracted to men, met Pr Edmund at 15 years old through Befrienders and accepted Christ a year later. “My eyes were opened. When I knew about homosexuality, what’s wrong with it and what happened to me, my main motivation is to please God,” said Jerry. Initially, he thought that homosexuality is inborn but through RLM, he knew that he could change, testified by many others who went through this program.
The first year involves education about sexual issues to resolve self-hatred and self-rejection, by celebrating and embracing one’s gender and appearances. The second year addresses the vacuum issue by promoting the development of a deep platonic relationship with the same gender while committing to celibacy. The third year finally resolves the barrier issue by learning to be open to the possibility of dating with the opposite gender.
“There’s a line between LGBT friendly and LGBT Pro. LGBT Pro is promoting it but LGBT friendly is caring and accepting the person. Simply be a friend to them,” said Pr Edmund responding to a question by Deva Param on how to strike a balance between loving and promoting the lifestyle of a homosexual friend.
“The topic is relevant to the church today, it opens up the mind from being judgmental to the bottom line message of love,” said YC Hwang, coordinator of the Family Life Ministry of St Thomas More Church.
After a dynamic question and answer session, Pr Edmund ended the talk with singing a self-composed song, Wake Up. A group of participants flocked and gathered around Pr Edmund for further discussions.
If you’re interested to have a talk on befriending the sexually broken, contact Pr Edmund for the Victory talk with a minimum of ten participants. For further training of your church staffs, you can also commit to a one-year program of Victory Meet, where by RLM staffs will meet and train your staffs once a month. To date, they have completed Victory Meet in Penang and Singapore before.
Find out more in their Facebook groups:
- Real Love Ministry (Befriending the sexually broken) – minimum requirement 10 people
- Sign Language Club (Befriending the deaf)
- Children ministry (Befriending children)
Contact Pr Edmund at firstname.lastname@example.org