18 June 2013 by Jane Beh-
Father’s day has passed, which made me ponder on how families had a good time celebrating this momentous day with their fathers. As for me, I have a million thoughts in my mind as I attempt to figure out what went wrong in my relationship with my father.
First, let me tell you a few things about my earthly father, whom I likened him to a volcano. Although his strong and sturdy built appears inviting and harmless, he would never hesitate to discipline his children despite all ‘explanations’ or excuses given. Although I could see his heart of discipline, I could not help but feel hurt by his quick-temper that resulted in many hurtful words and actions.
When I was growing up, I wished my father would express more love by giving me hugs and kisses, and also buy me presents. I also longed for my father to give me encouraging words such as ‘That’s my daughter!’, ‘You’re the apple of my eye’, ‘I love you ’or ‘Thank you.’ But he did none of that.
Hence, I used to resent my father that I would cry out to God many times and wondered if my father ever loved me.
But God gave me a new perspective; He allowed me to see what love means, i.e. love keeps no records of wrongs. I stopped resenting my father and forgave him for all he did and did not do.
For example, recently, I worked very hard to cook dinner for my father on Father’s Day which ended unpleasantly. My wounds which were buried festered again. And I cried out to God. However, instead of resenting him this time, I began to see things from a new paradigm.
After wiping away my tears, I realized that my father served my family in many ways. Although he did not verbalize his love, he showed his love through acts of services by being a handy man in the house. He would repair everything that was spoilt at home, including cars, lights, pipes, toilets, air conditioners, and even toys. I discovered that my father’s love language is acts of services.
And the more I thought about his love language, the more I grew to appreciate him. Despite the unpleasant side of my father, I knew that his strictness was bore out of him wanting to protect my siblings and I from making the wrong decisions or wrong moves in life.
After all, my father is not perfect but only human. Furthermore, he is still my father no matter what he did. And for that fact, I will always love him and be grateful for all that he has done and taught me.
Also, if my Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally and forgives me for all my sins, then I shall love my father unconditionally as well and forgive him for all the hurtful words and acts he said and committed. In all circumstances, I choose to honour my father because it pleases the Lord. I praise my Heavenly Father for giving me an earthly father.
Hence, for all the children who are in the same boat with me, I pray that God would open your eyes in wisdom, so that you would be able to accept, forgive, love unconditionally, appreciate and reconcile with your parents through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.
Only through our Heavenly Father, we are able to forgive our loved ones, whereby for some of us, they are the ones who hurt us the most. Truly, God is like a ‘superglue’ to me, who holds my family together from falling apart.
So, friends, do not take your parents for granted. Appreciate them today and show them your love before it’s too late.
And to my dear father… I will always love you as my daddy. Happy Father’s Day!
Note: This article is written by the author to dedicate her love to her father and also to encourage children who are undergoing the same family situation as her. May this article edifies you.
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