How Long Should I Wait For A Mate?

24 Aug 2013-


One of the Taber’s Truths readers sent in a question that goes like this. “I have 2 friends who married late in life, 1 was 39 and the other was 55, waiting for their perfect Christian man. Both lost out on motherhood. I don’t want to do that too my children. I praying that I am not too off.”




When dealing with dating and relationships, we must understand that there is God’s side and the individual’s side. The short answer to this question is that we should wait as long as it takes. However, the length of time that it takes many times rests upon us more than it rests upon God. The key to this question is the term “their perfect Christian man.” Many people believe that the concept of “soul mates” or their “one and only” is a Christian concept. It is not. It started with the greek philosophers and became popular with Plato.

The Bible talks about not being unequally yoked. It talks about the type of qualities that make a good husband or wife. It does not talk about there being a perfect match or your soul mate. Once you have dealt with this misnomer, you can get on to realistically waiting for God’s will for you concerning a mate.


The Role Of Men And Women In Finding A Mate


The first thing that people need to understand is that men and women have different roles to play in the process of finding a mate. The world teaches that men should go out and hunt down a mate. That they should wine and dine and romance a lady until they conquer her and get her to say yes to marriage. This is not a biblical concept. When God made the first match between a man and a woman, He put Adam to sleep while He prepared Eve. God then presented Eve to Adam. Although the Genesis account does not go into detail, it can be assumed that at some point God spoke to Eve about His plans and showed her the man before she was presented.



I am sure you will think of the scripture that states “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” What about the act of going out and finding a wife? The Hebrew word for find does not mean go out on a search. It means that as you are going along in your journey, you stumble upon something and “find” it.


Now think back to the story of Ruth and Boaz. Women across the world love the story of Ruth and Boaz and how romantic it is. However they seem to miss the fact that Ruth laid at Boaz’s feet signifying her interest.



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