A Guy’s Guide to Romance

10 June 2014 by Bill Farrel –


“I wish you were more romantic!”

Ever heard those words? If you’re like most husbands, I’ll bet you have. Probably more than once. Those worlds are about as pleasant as “You need to take a shower!”

Let’s face it. Most of us have only a vague idea of what romance is really about—and what it means to our wives. Besides, who has time to be Romeo when the kids have tuition classes and the demands from the office never let up?




Fortunately, romancing your wife isn’t as complicated—or as time consuming—as we make it out to be. In fact, I’ve stumbled across something that eliminates the guesswork and stress: Romantic Rituals.

What is a romantic ritual? It is a simple act you do on a regular basis to let your wife know how much she matters to you. Creating a romantic ritual is one of the best ways to touch your wife’s heart while you work a job and raise a family!

My wife Sarah and I have done one such ritual since the early days of our relationship. At a meal, we give thanks and pray before eating, and right after that, we kiss. It doesn’t take much effort but it conveys to Sarah that she is special to me.




The simple act has an even bigger impact when I do it in public. She gets the message that I delight in her and want others to know it.

Other examples of romantic rituals I have been told are:

  • We say “I love you” every time we hand car keys to each other
  • We kiss anytime we hear a car honking
  • I bring my wife coffee in bed every morning with a post it note that says “I love you”.

Of course, these rituals do not replace you taking your wife out on a date or surprising her with her favourite flowers, but they create the type of environment that regularly affirms your love for one another!




How do you find a ritual that will work?

Step 1: Choose an activity that you do often, such as getting the mail from the letterbox, walking through the front door, or placing dishes in the sink.

Step 2: Add a romantic element, such as a kiss, a note or a statement of affection.

Step 3: Commit to doing it no matter how you feel or how your day is going. The power is in its consistency

If you happen to get a great idea for an over-the-top romantic surprise, take advantage of it. But while you are waiting for that inspiration to hit, build a ritual that gives your wife the romance she craves!




This article was published with permission from Focus on the Family Malaysia. For more information, please visit or contact us.


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