24 Nov 2013 by Donna Uning CM –
Over the weekend, Rev George and sis Eunice Tay shared with family campers at Damai Beach Resort, Santubong, Kuching. In the morning session, they talked about family unity, unity with your spouse and children.
“When God says it’s important and repeats it, it is very important,” stressed Rev Tay. “But when God repeats it five times, it is very, very, very, very, very important!” He was talking about the unity of husband and wife.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-9, 1 Corinthians 6:16, Ephesians 5:31).
“There are three motifs for a happy and lasting marriage,” said sis Eunice. She likened the relationship to a pair of chopsticks. “A pair,” she stressed, telling “One stick is incomplete.” We cannot discard each other,” she added, giving example of the times people take advantage of the marriage institution.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
Rev Tay also likened the relationship to an empty box waiting to be filled with treasures. “Whatever you take out during the night, you put on the next morning,” he said. He gave an example of a badly soiled tissue kept overnight. “In the morning you will have a lot of problems,” he said. “But if you invest well, you will be happy,” he explained.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
“Somebody has to be the head,” joked Rev Tay, saying, “In God’s wisdom; He put the man as the head.” Why did God put the man as the head? “There cannot be two chiefs in the house or there will be war,” he said. He also acknowledged his wife, as described by her former chairman as a “firm and tough woman in a soft cotton blouse.”
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
“At home, I submit to my husband because I obey God,” said sis Eunice. They told how they would wait to have dinner together after work.
“Husbands are told to love their wives just as Christ loves the church,” he reminded saying women have the ‘lighter role’. “That means you must be prepared to die for the church; be prepared to do everything and anything! Serve her hand and foot!” he said, because Christ came to serve. “From today onwards, serve.”
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
“When you marry, you are married to a whole family,” said sis Eunice. “We need to have Jesus in the center,” she said. A family that prays together stays together. Have a family altar time. She told how important it was for her to receive blessing from her husband and pray together. “We don’t just pray for ourselves, but for others because we are branches,” she said.
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
“If you don’t cling on to Jesus, we will die like a broken branch use for firewood,” she said. “We do things together and for one another. We are each other’s BFF,” she added.
In the second half of the session, the couple talked about bringing up Godly children and disciplining them. They shared on the importance of teaching children God’s Word, praying for the children and family time.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.
Discipline is an expression of our love, and never discipline out of anger. “Our neglect will harm our children,” said sis Eunice. “End with prayer and explain to your children why they are being disciplined. Say sorry to mom and dad, and to Jesus,” she said.
“Be balanced in giving financial support,” they believed. “Don’t substitute time with money, and be guided by God’s Word,” they ended.
Rev George and sis Eunice Tay are currently serving in the Diocese of Kuching. The couple is founders of St Andrew’s City Church, Singapore.
References for pictures