30 Jan 2013 by Natasha Kim-
The continuation of the Heritage Builders seminar talks about the above topic; that is establishing a standard of normal, healthy living against where attitudes, actions and beliefs are measured.
The problem with the society today is the motto of, “If it feels good, do it!” It shows that people live in utter disregard by using the compass of “Society’s Standards” instead of the compass of God. According to Mr. Lee, “Many shipwrecks happened as a result of steering off-course”
Isaiah 53:6: We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
In this case, many parents experience unnecessary frustration and heartache for using a compass that is cheap and not aligned to north, when God’s word is in itself a compass that we cannot afford to ignore. In order to develop healthy parenting, one must look into the issues of self-image, personal responsibility, delayed gratification, spiritual exploration, priorities and sexuality.
Mr. Lee said, “Within the first year of life, the fragile worth of a child can either be established or seriously damaged.” It is important for a child to discover an image of themselves that reflects how God sees them. A God-established self image is critical for a child to relate to the world around them without feeling inferior or of little value.
When children are given responsibility around the house, it teaches them that there’s a place in the family where they fit and also how the whole family unit will be affected if they did not uphold their responsibilities. In this case, parents must realize that they need to model responsibility at home in everything they do, even if it’s something as simple as not pretending to call in sick for work. Other than that, parents should also explain to children the importance of responsibility and last but not least, parents must give children chores around the home but ensure that the chore is not too hard or inappropriate for their age.
Proverbs 22:6: Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
It is important that children learn at an early age to replace the “normal” aspect of instant gratification with the “healthy” aspect of delayed gratification. When they say they “want it now!”, distraction is the best weapon. Children should not be denied what they have earned, but they should also learn to earn it first. After all, all of us appreciate the things that would cost us and also things we waited for.
Psalms 106:13-15: But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his plan to unfold. 14 In the desert they gave in to their craving; in the wilderness they put God to the test. 15 So he gave them what they asked for, but sent a wasting disease among them.
There will come a time where every child begins to search for answers to spiritual questions. Parents should be able to help them spiritually while they are young by establishing spiritual checkpoints along their path so that their spiritual thirst can be intensified.
The Bible teaches to give and help by setting us up with proper priorities. In this case, there are countless areas in life where children need help with. For example, parents must set that homework and chores come before television or computer games; there should be a limit to fun time. Children also need to learn how to negotiate a balance between important activities such as family time, time for friends, time for homework, and chore time.
A parent’s job is to model a healthy sexual life in the context of lifelong commitment and to talk about sex as God’s wedding gift to His children. Here, the correct course of a child’s sexuality is abstinence– the standard that sets a straight line for positive legacy socially, emotionally, and spiritually.
1 Corinthians 6:13: "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
In terms of sexuality, parents should prepare themselves to help children accept their developing body and the new emotions that accompany it. Do not ignore or become casual about your children’s sexuality. One should coach them in appropriate behaviour such as helping them through times of struggle (break-ups or first love) and teaching them how to say “no” when tempted lest they should face the painful consequences of giving away what belongs to their future spouse.
In the end, the proper compass comes from God and His Holy Scripture.
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