To date, there is much controversy surrounding homosexuality, transgenderism and other different sexual lifestyles. In the case of Pr Edmund Smith, he found himself during his tattered journey of loving and then leaving the lifestyle of a transgender and a homosexual.
Through the road of curiosity and discovery, Pr Edmund managed to get out of the maze he was in and surrendered his soul to our perfect Creator who formed Adam and Eve.
On the 4th of July 2015, Pr Edmund graced Faith Oasis Fellowship and said “God has set me free from a lot of things and He is still setting me free. None of you can say, ‘I’m perfect.’”
“Good is not even enough to describe the goodness of God. God is more than good! For those who do not know my history, I was an ex-transgender. A transgender is someone who believes that he is trapped in the wrong body. I was born a boy and I am a real boy but all my life since I was four years old, I believed I was a girl due to various reasons,” shared Pr Edmund.
When God created us He knew what He was doing. God’s plan is perfect and good. He had already ordained us before we were birthed out of our mother’s womb.
“No matter what race you are, or how tall or short you are, whether you’re a man or a woman, God made you the way you are for a reason, for a purpose. You are no mistake!” shared Pr Edmund as he spoke with true conviction. He also went on to share that most of the people who choose this way of living have something happened in their past.
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)
“When everyone was in school, my classmates had wonderful dreams, one to become a doctor, one to become a lawyer, and so on. I however, wanted to become a woman! That was my mission. I was a mess and that was the devil’s work, to also make us feel that we are not a mess.
“Denial is fatal! If you’re a mess, look at yourself, and say that you’re a mess and call to Jesus for help. Do not lie to yourself!” he said.
Only Jesus has the power to save! His name is the only one in all the world that can save anyone. (Acts 4:12)
He likened humans to an onion, where we often need to be peeled off one layer at a time in order to reveal the realness that is inside of you – that is the real you. We have a God who understands each of us, and who is there for each of us 24 hours every day. But meanwhile, most of us are busy trying to gain our fellow human being’s attention. We crave to be understood by them.
“The perfect Attention-Giver is dying to give you attention!” shared Pr Edmund.
While God could draw your attention while you are occupied with life, He wants you to come back to Him on your own will. God will not pull you in, but He is waiting for you.
“My parents had three sons before me, and when I was born, I was a disappointment because I wasn’t the girl of their dreams. My mother and father wanted a girl so bad. My father rejected me all his life, and never told me that he loved me.
“I’ve never been loved by a man and I knew the reason was because I was not a girl! I was his unwanted son, so even as a little boy, I knew I was supposed to be born a girl” shared Pr Edmund.
When he told his mother that he wanted to be a girl, she allowed him to be one, not realising the consequences that would occur.
“So I grew up as a girl for the first five and a half year of my life. I wore dresses at home. I played with tea sets and dolls. I knew nothing about being a boy! In my heart, I thought the more girly I became, the more daddy would love me. But the more girly I became, the more daddy hated me. It sounds funny to some of you, but as a little boy it was painful,” he added. “I had a gender identity disorder”
Only before he officially had to enter kindergarten, his mother broke the news to him that he was a boy and not a girl. Feeling confused and distraught, Edmund would refuse to go to school. From then onwards, his mother who was his best friend became his enemy and began abusing him.
He enlightened everyone by sharing that the children’s perception of their mother shape their perception of women and the children’s perception of their father shape their perception of men.
“My perception of women at this point, was that they would only love you for a few years and then they would abuse you. So, I couldn’t stand women. And when it came to men, they would never love me though I was looking for love. I would do anything for men who would give me attention,” he shared.
He was looking for love in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons. Edmund was a transgender up until his early twenties. He sought help from “Choices,” a Singaporean-based organisation that reached out to homosexuals and he finally broke free from homosexuality.
“Today, God has restored me! When I tell you there is freedom, there is freedom! I knew what it meant to be in prison now that I have freedom. Today, I’m comfortable with men as my brothers, I’m comfortable with women as my sisters, I’m comfortable with my wife as my lover.
“There is nothing that God cannot do. The question is do you want God to do it for you or not? If you’re a prostitute,e you can change! If you’re a gossiper, you can change! If you’re a liar, you can change! If you’re a cheater, you can change. And if you’re a homosexual, you can change!” he said.
Now he embraces being a man and loves being one!
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning. (Psalms 30:5)
Today, together with his wife, Pr Edmund shared the love of God with broken fellow human beings. They founded a ministry known as “Real Love Ministry” (RLM), a ministry created to help homosexuals resolve the three issues in their lives namely, the self, the vacuum, and barrier issues.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. (John 3:17)
“…And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” (John 8:11)
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– Kim Yung
For more information, Pastor Edmund Smith who is based in Malacca can be contacted through his email address at reallovemalaysia@gmail.com.
God is so Wonderful.