This article is adapted and translated from another article originally published by Christianity Malaysia Chinese.
From a student who struggled academically and once worked as a construction-site painter, to a pastor who completed theological training and now shepherds a church, the life transformation of Pastor Ling Kee Chai, senior pastor of Chin Hock Chinese Methodist Church in Sitiawan, Malaysia, is something even he describes as “an incredible grace.” Looking back, he does not attribute it to personal strength or ability, but to God alone. Every step, every turning point, he says, is a work of grace. And so, he gives all the glory to God.
A Childhood of Poverty and Deep Insecurity
Ling Kee Chai was born into an extremely poor family. In his early years, there were often days when the family did not even have enough money for food. His mother had no choice but to borrow and buy on credit just to keep the household going, repaying little by little whenever his father managed to earn something from odd jobs. Life was uncertain, fragile, and often heavy with quiet struggle.
Because of these circumstances, Ling never had the opportunity to attend kindergarten. When he finally entered primary school, he found himself completely unprepared. Almost everything felt beyond his grasp. He did not know the English alphabet from A to Z. He could not do basic arithmetic. He could not speak Mandarin. On top of that, he struggled with a stutter, which made speaking in class a source of dread.
Whenever the teacher called on him, “Ling Kee Chai, come read this passage”, he would stand up, trembling, and stammer, “I… I… I can’t read.” The classroom would erupt in laughter. These moments repeated themselves again and again, each one leaving a deeper mark. Shame began to take root in his heart, slowly growing into a deep and persistent sense of insecurity that would follow him for years.
A Life Spiralling into Darkness
As Ling grew older, he gradually drifted away from church. In search of belonging, he fell in with a group of friends whose lives revolved around pleasure and escape. What began as small compromises soon turned into a reckless lifestyle. Ling drifted into drinking, gambling, and pursuing fleeting indulgences without restraint, empty of any true anchor.
A Gospel Concert That Sparked Turning Point
When he was around 22 or 23 years old, the famous music producer Huang Guolun held a gospel concert in Singapore, performing songs such as Lead Me and sharing his personal testimony. Ling attended, and that night became a major turning point.
As he listened, something within him shifted. The message pierced through the noise of his life and reached a place he had long buried. He found himself deeply moved. In that moment, he chose to believe in Jesus and made a heart-felt decision to repent and reform his life.
At the time, he was still working as a painter, labouring daily in dusty, sawdust-filled environments, his body often covered in paint and grime. It was not a setting one would associate with calling or purpose. And yet, right there, in the midst of that ordinary and gritty reality, he sensed something extraordinary. God was calling him into full-time ministry.
The idea felt almost absurd to him. He was stunned. “I can’t do it,” he told God. “I’m third-rate. I can’t even speak clearly. I have no eloquence, no knowledge – please find someone else.”
But the call did not fade. Over the next six months, whether he was reading the Bible, praying, singing hymns, or attending Sunday services, he continued to feel God’s patient and persistent invitation. It was not forceful, but it was unmistakable. In the end, he chose to obey and prepared to enter seminary.
Post-Faith Breakthroughs: Struggles with the Old Life and New Birth
However, breaking free from his old ways was not an overnight event; it was a long, painful, and non-linear process of deliverance. Moving toward faith did not immediately erase the deep marks left by his past addictions to gambling, alcohol, and destructive desires.
Even after deciding to change his life at age 23, Ling faced intense temptations and severe spiritual warfare. The lowest point of this transitional period occurred one morning when he took an overdose of ecstasy and came terrifyingly close to losing his life. In the midst of his intense physical and emotional suffering, he unexpectedly noticed a Chinese New Year card sitting on the counter. It had been sent to him by his pastor and fellow church members. It read simply: “Brother Kee Chai, Jesus loves you. Emmanuel.” This simple token of unconditional love from a community that knew his flaws deeply pierced his heart and became a powerful awakening.
Yet, the back-and-forth battle with his old life continued to test his resolve. At one point during this reform process, he suffered a severe gambling relapse, losing absolutely everything and burying himself in overwhelming debt. Sinking into a deep sense of hopelessness and feeling that his 23 years of life were no longer worth living, he stood outside on the corridor of a five-storey factory building, seriously intending to jump and end it all.
In that exact moment of absolute despair, he suddenly heard a clear voice echoing in his ear: “Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” These words, drawn from John 15:5, cut straight through his suicidal thoughts and held him back from taking the final step.
From that moment on, as he fully surrendered and threw himself back into the embrace of faith, the real transformation took root. Step by step, he began to systematically dismantle his old habits of smoking, drinking, gambling, and lust. There were moments when he felt like giving up, but he was no longer fighting alone. The steady, unfailing love of God, the unwavering support of his family, and the constant care of his church community lifted him up every time he stumbled, allowing him to successfully overcome temptation and experience true spiritual rebirth.
The Challenges of Seminary Life
Entering seminary did not suddenly make things easy. In fact, Ling quickly realised that the academic challenge ahead was far greater than he had imagined. Having gone more than ten years without serious study, basic administrative and academic skills were a massive hurdle. He did not even know how to use a computer, and the dense reading materials felt completely overwhelming.
Faced with mounting assignments, he often found himself at the end of his own ability. Many times, he knelt on his room floor in tears, praying desperately for God to unlock his mind, half-jokingly describing himself by saying, “My mind is blocked.”
Yet, he refused to quit. Every single assignment became a desperate prayer: “God, give me wisdom. Help me understand.” His first year was painfully difficult, almost unbearable at times. But slowly, through sheer perseverance and grace, his mind began to clear. He started to keep up. Concepts that once seemed impossible began to make sense. By the time he approached graduation, he found himself doing something he never thought possible: he was genuinely enjoying learning.
Then came the moment that surprised everyone. The very same person who had historically failed exams and been placed in his school’s weakest “remedial” class graduated from seminary with top honours, receiving the outstanding student award. Looking back, he refused to see it as a personal achievement. “All glory belongs to God,” he said. “Not because I am capable, but because He is worthy.”
He later went on to successfully pursue a Master of Ministry and completed his advanced theological studies at an overseas seminary, continuing a journey that once seemed completely beyond his reach.
Breaking Insecurity: Standing on a National Platform
Even after successfully completing his theological training and entering ministry, the deep-seated insecurity rooted in his childhood trauma did not vanish instantly. It lingered quietly in the background, shaping how he viewed his own worth.
In 2010, Malaysia hosted a major national forum titled “The Value of Religion in Social Harmony and Well-being”, inviting top representatives from various faiths to speak. The organizers approached Ling to represent the Christian faith. At the time, still serving as a local preacher (and not yet an ordained pastor), his old insecurities flared up. Convinced that he was thoroughly unqualified, he declined repeatedly.
But the invitations kept coming. At one point, the organizers even challenged him, asking, “Does Christianity not have anyone else who can represent it?” Realizing the weight of the opportunity, he reluctantly agreed.
When he saw the profiles of the other co-speakers, his fears returned in full force. Many were internationally recognized scholars, university lecturers, and prolific authors. Compared to them, he saw himself as just an ordinary preacher who had graduated from a regular university. Determined to prepare, he frantically read hundreds of books and source materials. Yet the more he crammed, the more confused and overwhelmed he became. The immense pressure caused him severe insomnia and even caused him to slip into a mild depression.
One night, as he poured out his deep inadequacy to his wife, she spoke words that completely shattered his fear: “They may be highly intelligent, but they can only speak human reason and logic. You are God’s servant – you speak divine truth. If you have the truth, what is there to fear?”
In that moment, it felt as though God Himself was speaking directly to his spirit: “You are My beloved son.”
With that profound assurance, he stepped onto the national stage, completely empty of self-confidence but entirely full of faith, and shared the gospel. The outcome was beyond anything he could have imagined. His speech was warmly received with high acclaim, widely reported by major media outlets, and even drew students from various other religious backgrounds to approach him afterward, expressing a genuine desire to know more about Jesus. More importantly, that was the day the heavy chains of childhood insecurity finally broke off his life for good.
From Dust to Glory
Looking back on his remarkable journey, Ling Kee Chai often reflects on the words of 1 Samuel 2:8: “He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; He seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honour.”
These words perfectly mirror his own story. Once, he was poor, a stutterer, academically broken, and deeply entangled in a cycle of sin. By every worldly measure, he was an unlikely candidate to amount to anything. And yet today, he stands as a seasoned pastor, faithfully shepherding a thriving church congregation and speaking boldly into wider society through interfaith dialogues.
When asked what message he would pass on to others struggling with their past, his answer is simple, powerful, and deeply personal: “Do not see yourself through the eyes of society. Always remember that we are children deeply loved by God.”
This is his ultimate testimony: God can choose a person from the absolute dust, and transform a broken, relapsing life into a beautiful story of His glory.
Christianity Malaysia would like to thank the family of Pr Ling Kee Chai for their hospitality and assistance in vetting this article. Pr Lilian also helped revise and edit portions of the article.
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