One of the most common challenge for men is coming to understand the Father’s love, not just in their heads but also deep down in their hearts. Juxtaposed to this is another common question to men; why are we here?
Some of us seek for answers in philosophical field such as ethics and so on. Some of us strive to improve ourselves constantly, never finding a place where we can truly rest and be assured that we’re really living according to our purposes. So what is life about?
Becoming a Man Alive
On the 25th of April 2015, the Men Alive session at DUMC looked into coming to understand the Father’s heart of love and how He relentlessly pursues us. The sessions are being guided by a book study on Patrick Morley’s ‘Man Alive’.
In the coming weeks, topics studied will include ‘Every Man Has A Story’, ‘A Father in Relentless Pursuit’, ‘Created for a Life of Purpose’, ‘Breaking the Cycle (of Destructive Behaviors)’, ‘Soul Making’, ‘To Love and Be Loved’, and ‘How A Man Makes His Mark’. God has a unique purpose for us as men, and these are topics that men are encouraged to ask.
The Importance of Focus on Men
Pastor Chris communicated that continuously the most supportive people for men ministries have been wives. Though the ministries are targeted to provide assistance and support for men, wives have been the ones that are enthusiastic and concerned in them. This seems kind of odd but if we were to do a study, we would invariably come to the finding that the crux of broken families has been men who had not come alive.
The Rabbi Harold Kushner once said, “No one on their deathbed wish they had spent more time at the office”. ‘We need to develop the right perspective of the things that matter in life,’ communicated Pr Chris.
‘When you build a strong man, you build a strong family. When you build strong families, you build strong societies. Strong societies will lead to strong nations. Men need to start leading. If you don’t know how, come and learn together, and start with men who are still young.’
The challenge of men ministries such as Men Alive is to produce men who are able to go out in turn to influence and leave a legacy to the other men around them.
Coming to Know the Father’s Heart
In order for men to start embracing their true purpose, they need to understand their identities in God. Unfortunately, one of the key factors that have affected many men, especially from typical austere families, was their relationship with their fathers. Fathers play an important role in the shaping of their sons. However, we also need to forgive our fathers if they have hurt us, and move on.
Many men know in their heads that God loves us but we need to know this in our hearts too. Due to upbringing, many men are hindered from really coming home to God unreservedly. We set qualifiers on our understanding of God’s heart for His children. We constantly feel that we are not good enough for Him. Our relationship with Him becomes an act of performance, and we don’t really understand Him.
Pastor Chris shared that the experience of fatherhood brings new perspective. Fatherhood is not an easy responsibility, and many times children will test the patience of their fathers to the limit. Sometimes fathers would need to discipline their children. Yet few fathers would love their children any less because of this. Furthermore, most fathers want a relationship with their children and not a serf.
If earthly fathers who are imperfect know how to love their children, how much more so our Perfect Father in Heaven? (Matthew 7:11)
The Parables in Luke 15
Jesus shared three parables in Luke 15, one after the other, and all of them about the Father’s heart of love for His children. Obviously this is important to God.
The parables are familiar to us but it also speaks about personal faith. Just like the Prodigal Son coming home to his father, coming to know the Father deep inside us can only come through intimate experience. And very often the reality of faith comes through growth in times of trouble. In the deepest of fear, can we still trust God?
Other parables in the chapter such as the Parable of the Lost Coin tell us how precious we are to God. We are not collateral damage or ‘acceptable losses’, Pastor Chris communicated. Though men are so used to achieving so that they can feel loved, God really loves us just for who we are.
Especially for men who are so used to struggling alone and accomplishment in order to feel significant, understanding the Father’s heart is crucial. None of us are wholly perfect, but we need to come back to God.
Having a Passion for What Concerns the Father
The father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son waited for years for the prodigal son to return home. When he did, the father ran to embrace him. To the father this was the most important event in his life, and the prodigal son was clothed with a new robe. Today, Christ is the robe of our righteousness. It is no longer about earthly striving but in recognizing and honoring God as the Father.
Be passionate about the things God cares for; build each other up in Godly ways and be responsible stewards of the blessings God has given to us. If we already have a relationship with the Father, we need to be passionate for the things that concern Him. We need to have a heart for souls so that everyone will come to salvation. What it all comes down to, our purposes as men is to recognize our identities as children of God, and to start living according to it.
God would never force us to love Him. It is for our sakes that He wants us to come home to Him. Pastor Chris conveyed that the greatest gift God has given to us is our free wills and loving God needs to be a matter of a conscious choice from the heart.
NOTE: This is a personal reflection of the writer based on a session in Men Alive at DUMC. All photos kindly provided by the church’s photographer. Men Alive meet one Saturday every month. The next sessions are as follows:
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– by Jason Law CM, May 7 2015
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