Finding Respect and Honour At Home: Patrick Morley, Chosen2016 Conference


Besides teaching men on how to find the purpose of our lives, Patrick Morley also shared in the CHOSEN2016 Men’s Conference on how a man can find respect and honour at home.

Foremost, a man’s role in his family is as the spiritual leader of the home. This is encapsulated in Ephesians 5:25 where we find a men’s calling to love his wife and children in the same way that Christ loves His family.


Patrick Morley.


Just as Christ encompasses the three-fold ministerial role of priest, prophet, and king, the spiritual leader of the home also has this three-fold role within the family that God has given to him to take care of and love.

As a priest, the spiritual leader intercedes for his family, standing in the gap and acting as intermediary between his family and God, ensuring that the relationship between his family members as well as with God is spiritually healthy.

As a prophet, his role is to provide a Godly direction in which his family can walk, ensuring that they are encouraged in their journey with Christ, providing counsel in how to handle the issues of the world, reprimanding with loving caution whenever any of them stray from the path that God has designed for them. In his kingly role, the man of the family leads, protects, and provide. 


Patrick praying for the next generation of men during the conference.


The men’s three-fold spiritual role in the home is something he should always be mindful of. Patrick shared that there are three common myths that make men and their family miserable. Many men measure success through pursuing a dynamic career. But the Bible counsels that work alone cannot produce a success that matters. In Ecclesiastes 2:4-11, King Solomon inscribed his deep disillusionment and distress near the end of his life. He had built great houses, had many servants, and had accumulated an abundance of treasure yet found everything unable to satisfy him in his soul, where it matters.

Furthermore, many of us tell ourselves that we are doing this for our family. But the truth is what our family really want more than anything in the world is more of us. Their greatest need is for a man that is able to fulfil the three-fold ministerial calling in his family, providing them with love and guidance, being there with them in all of the challenges that each member of the family go through, anchoring the family within a complete whole in their relationships and with God. They need a man that is present in the family.

Thirdly, there is also a common myth that money will solve all our problems. But there is a stage where once we earn above a certain level, money creates more problems than it solves. The Bible is very clear-sighted about this: whoever loves money never has enough and while a man who earn his keep has peace of heart, for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep (Ecclesiastes 5:10-12). We see this often in the lifestyle of the rich and glamorous, so many succumbing to greed, depression, loneliness, and hopelessness. 


Patrick speaking at the CHOSEN2016 Men’s Conference


Patrick conveyed the simple truth that no amount of work can compensate for failure at home. The greatest need children have of their fathers is encouragement, which in this context is defined as a source of inspiration that gives them the courage to face hardship with confidence and assurance.

Colossians 3:21 counsels fathers not to exasperate their children. How do we tend to discourage our children? Both a lack of structure (an absentee father) and too much structure (a controlling father) can frustrate our children. The tendency is to provide too much structure where there should be freedom and too much freedom where there should be structure. Patrick gave an example: too much attention given to our children’s hairstyle but a lax of control with the kinds of movies they watch.  

How can we encourage our family? The best way is to spend time with them. ‘If you do not have time for your children, you can be 100% certain you are not following God’s will for your life,’ Patrick said. For our children has been given to us as a blessing and as a care-ship, for us to steward well.


Patrick Morley with DUMC senior pastor Pr Chris Kam (2nd from right) and the head of DUMC’s men’s ministry, Bro Keong (left) during the forum. Pr Chris Kam also shared sessions during the conference.


‘We need to prioritize things based on who will cry at our funeral. The best way to give time to your families is in the way they want to receive it.’ Be the best friend you can for your children, and at the same time, be a pillar of support and strength in their time of need. ‘Encourage them with words. Regularly tell your wife and children that you love them and that you are proud of them. Pray for them regularly. Live for them,’ he encouraged.


NOTE: All pictures kindly contribued by DUMC.


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Jason Law

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