Many of us – especially women – find it challenging to forgive, what more to forget, an emotional or physical hurt afflicted on us. The wound is so deep that we find ourselves replaying the hurtful scene over and over in our heads, imagining others would do the same to us.
We walk around with this hurt – wounded and bruised – that even a light bump or touch makes us scream in pain. We go on life, clamped down and shut up behind our man-made walls.
No one can ever hurt us again. But our hearts have also grown cold because love enters the same way hurt enters. Suppressing our emotional hurt by closing the doors of our heart to desensitize pain is not the way. What God wants for us is to trust Him enough to open the door for Him to heal us.
“Now, all of us carry emotional burdens, whether you’re one kilo overweight or one hundred kilo overweight, don’t ever deny that and say, ‘I have no problem’ when you have the problem,” said Dr Peggy Wong, speaker for an emotional healing workshop called ‘Beauty for Ashes’ in Klang Baptist Church.
It is self denial!
“The minute we deny shows that we actually have problems more than anyone else. Let us humble ourselves before God and say, ‘I have a problem and I need help,’” she added.
She shared how these hurts and wounds are like rocks we carry on our backs. We dragged them up slowly up the hill, but only to quickly tumble down when we can no longer support its heavy weight.
We carry this invisible rock everywhere we go. And as the rock gets heavier, our back bends more towards the ground. We forget to look up to our Father who wants to heal us.
Dr Peggy shared about the importance and delicateness of balance – the just right, just enough, and just perfect at its equilibrium. The point is most things at its extremism are harmful to us – whether addiction or substance abuse – both are damaging to our well-being.
But the world tells us today another message. Surely, no one would mind too much money. However, one does not realise that equally, if not more important than money, is the resource of time. Whether we are male or female, rich or poor, young or old, time waits for no men.
When we were young, our days passed by slowly as though we could live forever. But as we grow older, we realize that time is increasingly a rare commodity. In fact, people are using money to buy more time.
Nevertheless, praise God because our beloved Father in Heaven is beyond time! He is the Alpha and the Omega, unlimited and unencumbered by time. Nothing is too late for our God. Nothing is too difficult for Him. Whatever you have lost, He can redeem it all.
Dr Peggy shared how her friend took in her sick and dying husband, having forgiven his affair with another woman. For years, she took care of him, exhausting all her resources. When her husband passed away, the LORD rewarded and redeemed her years by tripling her salary in a new global-traveling job with three amazing and lovely children. Praise God! He is a God of second chances, a God of new beginnings!
And so, life is brief – like a smoke, breath, or mist – is it then worth an ounce of our energy to resist forgiveness and healing, when God has intended us to live a balanced and abundant lives?
What does an abundant life mean? While the world tells us about the five C’s including Cash, Condominium, Car, Carat, and Club, it’s really just one ingredient of a fulfilled life in God’s economy. Collectively, they fall under ‘Finance.’
But the LORD has revealed to Dr Peggy six more F’s of what characterized a fulfilled balanced life including Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Fun, and Fruit. In fact, such wisdom from God is shared in a book she wrote, called “A Balanced Life.”
While the healing process appears messy, Dr Peggy shared a simple process on how we can heal from our hurts.
Firstly, we need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming other people. To seek God for healing, we need to first sincerely admit that we need healing.
And to heal, it is not just God healing us. But we too must take responsibility of our present behavior. It is a partnership with God.
“Always partner with God. If you pray and do nothing, nothing happens. Do our best and God will do the rest. As long as we do our part, He will do His part,” said Dr Peggy. Faith must follow action.
Healing is a painful process, involving the opening of wounds, applying antiseptic, bandaging, and finally allowing time for ourselves to heal. Hence, we need to strongly desire to heal more than our fear of pain.
When we trust God enough to open our wounds, we will begin to see the root, which imprisons us. The answers of healing actually lie in us. To heal, we need to face the truth and accept reality, meaning see things as they are.
And when we heal, we will also find a divine courage to forgive ourselves and those who hurt us. We are able to love ourselves in the light of our Father, and also to give and receive love from others.
Finally, we need to change our mentality from a victim to a victor, building bridges instead of walls to other people. Through healing, we began to see that we are not the only ones being hurt. But because we live in a fallen world and have hurt others also, we owe each other unceasing forgiveness. Hurting people hurt people.
In conclusion, although we may try many ways to cover and suppress our hurts and wounds, they will always be there, if we do not treat them.
Hence, anytime we find ourselves emotionally responding strongly to something, do not ignore or suppress these emotions. Our strong emotions are actually signs of unsettled issues or hurts lodged in our hearts. Pray and work with the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the root of our hurts.
Like in the words of Robert H. Schuller, the Father wants to ‘turn your hurts inside out, your problem into a project, the enemy into a friend, the hurt into a halo, and the scar into a star.’
We don’t need to wear masks anymore to hide our hurts and pain. Open the doors of our hearts and let the LORD heal us – so that we too can comfort those who suffered like us, with the comfort we received from God. God will give us ‘Beauty for Ashes’ (Isa 61: 1-3). Leave our past behind and move to a glorious and victorious future that God has planned for us. He created us for a purpose-driven life. Don’t let the Enemy destroy us (John 10:10). The LORD is our sure hope. He will never leave us nor forsake us!
| Share the Good News |
Leave a Reply