20 Dec 2012, by Ruth Lee Y. P.
The VITAL FOUNDATIONS FOR GIRLS Program is an event held from 18th to 23rd November 2012 at Sepang Golden Palm Tree Resort. This vision was conceptualized by Dr. Evelyn Biles (President of Global Mosaic Malaysia & Dean of AOIC Pastoral Counselling program) and the mission was undertaken by Global Mosaic Malaysia.
The program’s vision is to groom leaders from girls who are currently residing in various rumahs (meaning orphanages) in Kuala Lumpur and Petaling Jaya. And the missions were to develop positive self-identity and esteem in the girls, enhance their strengths, and mentor them to influence and lead their peers within and outside of the home environment.
Candidates were chosen from the age group of 10 to 15 years old who are teachable and exhibit leadership potential. They were to cohabit with a mother-daughter pair and one Malaysian mentor for a week at the resort. Mentors were selected from the alumni and graduating students of the AOIC Pastoral Counselling program, who were keen on young girls and adolescent counseling. They are to mentor the girls over two years.
Dr. Biles had invited various families from India, U.S.A, Australia, and Malaysia to join. Due to the different school holiday schedules in respective countries, only the mother-daughter team from U.S.A could participate in the program without missing school because the program consequently fit perfectly into their Thanksgiving Week holiday.
A mother-daughter team, a few girls from the homes, and a mentor shared a chalet, similar to a family on vacation. The girls were given the opportunity to interact with each other to experience cross-cultural exchanges, and to engage with and observe the way a mother relates to her daughter in their daily living. The girls were also encouraged to visit each other’s chalets for fellowship and enjoy the amenities of the Resort as a family.
Dr. Biles had given guidelines that this program was neither a camp nor school. It was not about drilling kids with more lessons, but it is about having fun, bonding and learning by modelling. The girls attended three 45-60 minutes sessions daily. Session topics were designed around character building, communication, good decision-making, and interpersonal skills. And they were facilitated by both the mothers and the mentors. A blank folder was given to each girl entitled “This is me”, to be filled and authored by her over the course of the week. This folder would contain educational materials and life lessons that would make the building blocks for their future growth. Individual photo of each girl was also taken to stick on the front cover of the folder.
The lessons learned by the girls would be requested daily to record in another small journal, as a feedback to the organizer. This journal was used to record the girls’ thoughts or reflections.
On the first day, the Malaysian mentor team facilitated the sessions to allow their fellow U.S.A. team to adjust to the different time zone in Malaysia.
Session 1 was “Basic Needs” by Janice Tan based on William Glasser’s 5 Basic Needs:
- Belonging-Love
- Power
- Fun
- Freedom-Choice
- Survival–Food & Shelteri
- Spiritual–God (added by Janice as the inner core of needs)
Janice had reminded the girls that they have the freedom of choice to make good decisions with the resources and qualities they already have in them.
Session 2 was “I want, I want, I want” by S.I. Lo expanding on the first session topic, that our identity is not based on what we own or have. The girls were taught to identify their needs and wants, followed by the methods to achieve these need with what they have and the specific person who can guide or help them in achieving their desires.
The acronym of W.A.N.T. focused on:
- The WAY to achieve the goal
- The ACTION in responding to achieving or not achieving the goal, including anger, appreciation and being at peace with the outcome
- NEW ways of thinking and behaviour
- TEAM (network and people) & THEME (value and worldview).
Session 3 was “Building Character and Values” by Wendy Hew. The girls were enlightened about the 10 commandments using hand and finger gestures and were introduced to the six pillars of good character and value. They were asked to write how one shows good character qualities based on being:
- Trustworthy
- Responsible
- Respectful
- Fair
- Caring
- A Good Citizen
Dr Biles continued the session by asking the girls to reflect the reason they were there. The reasons were to learn, have fun, experience different cultures, meet new friends, build character and to note Christ in action. The next question was what brought them there? There is a purpose and reason of why they were there. Chosen by God, they were there to help each other to learn and grow one step at a time to be a mentor themselves. This session was facilitated with the assistance of the mothers from U.S.
Session 4 was “Where do I belong?” by Susan Lahey who expanded on character qualities. The girls were asked to create a brochure to describe themselves such as their favourite activities, best features, proudest moments, strengths, and talents. On the back of the brochure, the girls were requested to find at least three people to write their thoughts about them and sign on it. At the end of the session, the girls were grouped into pairs to present to one another for a brief five minutes about themselves.
Session 5 was “Why can’t we be like normal kids?” by Amy Trout. The girls were divided into three groups to perform in a skit called “How Might I feel” in different scenarios. They were asked to describe the emotions evoked, allowing them to reflect that wanting to feel belong is normal and they are not the only one with those feelings in the same situation.
Sessions 6 was “What makes a Good friend” by Felicia Biles who reminded the girls that one is to treat others the same way one wants to be treated (using the Scripture of Luke 6:31). To have healthy and appropriate relationships, one needs to be conscious and considerate of others.
Sessions 7 was “Relationship Building, Drawing Boundaries and No Apologies” by Jennifer Jones. With the question “Who are you”, she led the girls to answers found in Scriptures: that we are God’s temple (1 Corinthian 6:19-20; 3:16), the Holy Spirit lives in us (Colossians 2:9-10), we are complete in Christ (Psalm 139: 13-18) and we are loved and beautiful. We do not need any one to make us whole, only through Jesus are we complete. In fact, we are Princesses in the King’s Palace (Psalm 45:10-11, 13). The girls then wrote about how they want to dress, Christ-like behaviours, their views on relationships with the same and opposite sexes, and what characteristics they would want in their future life partners.
Session 8 was “Making Wise Decisions and Achieving Independence” by Tan Soh Kheng. The girls were guided to depend on the Holy Spirit as their Spiritual compass in getting direction from God and to help them in making wise decisions rather than just smart decisions.
Session 9 was “For what do People Praise Me?” by April Woodward. Psalm 139:14 was used to help the girls reflect that they are wonderfully made with unique characteristics exhibited by the biblical characters of Esther (brave), Mary (teachable), David (courageous), Abraham (faithful), etc. Because everyone is unique and different, getting along with each other is important. They were also asked to name two people in their lives and expressed what they admired about them. And then, they were guided to relate to the emotion and thoughts when thinking about them.
Session 10 was “Self Talk or Inner Dialogue” by Dr. Evelyn Biles. The girls were guided to use the “T.R.U.T.H” Chart starting with the inner thoughts from a Trigger event leading to a negative Reaction and Unhealthy feeling, then thinking about what the Truth was that would lead to a Healthy reaction. They had to make the choice to reframe their initial thoughts focusing on the Truth of a life event, in order to train their minds to lead them to Healthy reactions. They were encouraged to approach and listen to Jesus through the Word, so that life events can be handled with confidence (Isaiah 30 20a-21b). This reminded us that life is not without its challenges but God is sufficient for any difficulty that life brings in our way (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Session 11 was on “Interpersonal or Communication Skills” by Doreen Tan. The girls were guided with Scripture on ways of communication through talking (Prover12:18b), listening (Pro 18:13), thinking (Mathew 21:28), and feelings (Proverb 12:25). Effective communication is the key to interpersonal relationships; we can bless others with our thoughts and behaviours.
Session 12 was “Coping with Body Changes” by Ruth Lee. Starting with the theme “YOU ARE UNIQUELY SPECIAL” and using Psalm 139:4, she reminded them that we are all created in the image of God and are fearfully and wonderfully made.
The physical changes a girl experiences in becoming a woman are part of growing up. Physical changes require self-care and personal hygiene is an essential part of their daily live because their body is precious in the eyes of God. Although the girls would undergo physical changes, their unique identity in God would not change like an unchanging thumb print because no one is the same.
Jesus grew in wisdom and stature through his teenage years, in favor with God and man (Luke 2:52). Through the Scriptures (1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Timothy 2:9-10; 1 Peter 3:3-5), they were also reminded that the beauty that matters most to God is their inner spirit and character.
The challenge is to choose in not comparing themselves to others and to become channels of GOD’S love (Zechariah 2:8).
Romans 12: 1-2 was also used to encourage them to value their bodies and renew their mind. The session ended with some worshipping by raising hands (Psalm 134:2); dancing and leaping (Psalm 149:3, 2 Samuel 6:14, Exodus 15: 20), clapping and shouting praises to GOD (Psalm 47:1, 66:1), and kneeling and bowing (Nehemiah 8:6, Revelation 4:10, 5:8). Everyone enjoyed this session and had fun.
What I learned from the Vital Foundation for Girls!
Personally, I was really blessed as my session was the last, giving me the opportunity to sit through all the other sessions first. I find it amazing to learn the topics, brick by brick, which allowed me to understand the different thoughts and ideas into one wholesome theme.
Although we do not know how much the session would help these girls, we hope that they would process everything they learned when they leave and use it to touch their peers. I was reminded of Jesus who treasured even one lost sheep in Luke 15:4-7, hence we should rejoice even if only one life was touched. Our task was simply to plant that one seed in their lives. There would be others to water that seed. And God is the one who would make it grow (1 Corinthians 3:6-7) and bring their leadership qualities and skills to harvest.
From the initial stages of forming the committee in January 2012 to identifying the shelter homes and the selection of girls in September 2012, VFG became a reality on 18th November 2012. The program ended on the 23rd with the girls writing thank you notes and cards to the volunteers, sponsors and all who they appreciated.
After enjoying a Thanksgiving Turkey feast prepared for them by the resort, the girls also learned that expressing gratitude is a vital component of building a strong relationship. We could not have achieved the same level of success without the generous contribution and accommodation of the management and staffs of Sepang Golden Palm Tree Resort. As the VFG committee we are grateful to them and to everyone on both sides of the globe who believed in the vision and so generously invested their money and time to make it possible.
Now all the committee members are back to their normal routines while continuing the two years of mentorship with the girls. I want to praise God for this privilege and honour of serving Him in this event. My heart was filled with abundant joy when reminded of our generous God; He makes my cup to overflow (Psalm 23:5). We all agree that our GOD is abundantly good (Psalm 36:7-8), we overflow with praise for HIS many Blessings. I appreciate each individual who has made this event a success and who generously offered us their funds, products, and transport to ferry the girls to and from the resort. The event ended with an appreciation dinner for the U.S.A and Malaysian teams.
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