Sam Lim was once a slave to drug addiction, but the experiences he had gone through in his days of youth were not purposeless. It has given Sam a deep understanding of the realities – some of which are very stark – and of the struggles of addiction. Today, he serves in Malaysian CARE as a minister in God’s Kingdom, bringing hope to the broken and vulnerable in places where he once was.
Sam gives a very open account of his experiences as an addict, not giving any excuses for the wrong paths he had taken. One of the stark realities of addiction is that the road to addiction is subtle, and it can happen to anyone.
Born and bred in Taiping, Sam accepted Christ in 1991 and grew up in a loving Christian family. However, when he was in college, the effects of peer pressure got to him, and he started to join his friends in socially abusing marijuana. Due to the influences of friends, he also got involved in gambling and drinking.
‘I lost control of myself,’ Sam shared. ‘Later, I started to use crystal meth or Ice when my friends told me it was not a drug but a mere supplement that would enhance my work performance.’ Initially, the drug increased his productivity. As time went by, he found himself needing it just to function. ‘I thought I could control it, but it was all a lie. I was controlled by the urge of wanting to use more and more.’
Sam is very upfront about there being no financial, studies, or relationship factors that pushed him towards abusing drugs. ‘I was brought up with proper care, had good financial understanding, and even good relationships. However, I was a curious person, and that attracted me to drugs when I was young, not knowing what I was getting myself involved in. I thought I could control it, but it was the other way round.’
The insidious effects of the drugs slowly dragged Sam into addiction. He related that the drugs made him feel good and confident after he had used them, which in turn made him draw more into them. The drugs Sam used were mainly stimulants.
‘These stimulants enhanced my senses and capabilities and at times made me able to think out of the box, be daring, and do pretty much what I want. At one point, a work that would normally take a person 1-2 weeks to complete, I did it in 3 days. Of course, that was because when I was on Ice, I did not sleep, I did not eat, and I was just focused on the work doing those computers. What I didn’t know was that it was eating me up from the inside out.’
Sam explained that the reason why addicts are so drawn to drugs is how good it makes them feel. ‘Drugs make people feel good. I felt good. That is why it is so addictive. Not only does it make us feel good physically, but it also feels good from the inside. And that’s why we are so drawn to it. When a person stops using them, it’s not just a physical withdrawal, it also affects the emotional and mental parts of us. There will always be that feeling of rindu and missing how it feels when we were using them. Subtly, without realising it, the addiction and craving set in.’
As the effects of addiction set in, Sam’s relationship with his family and friends began to suffer. He, and even his immediate family, started to withdraw from family gatherings to avoid the questions the extended family would ask about him. All he could think of was how to satisfy his cravings for the drugs. Not only did Sam’s relationships suffer. His health also started to deteriorate, and he fell into depression. He had suicidal ideation and would see hallucinations.
For a long time, Sam had thought he could handle the effects of the addiction by himself but finally had to face up to the fact that he couldn’t. After six months, and after he had sold off all his property, Sam finally accepted the fact that he needed help, and he decided to go into rehab at Christian Care Center.
‘I had enough of making wrong choices and decisions for myself for such a long time. I realised I needed help. But I thank God that the condition was not permanent and can be made better through the help of the professionals and the care from the people around us,’ Sam conveyed. ‘My father and church members had advised me to get out of the situation but at first, I did not listen to them. I thought I could handle it.’
In the three and half years it took for him to complete the rehabilitation programme, the support and love from Christian Care Centre, his family, and his friends, juxtaposed with his past experience as an addict, changed Sam. After his rehabilitation, Sam decided to stay back at the Care Centre before being offered a job at Malaysian CARE.
Today, Sam is a committed servant of the Lord. He works tirelessly as a manager in the community development department at Malaysian CARE. When he applied at Malaysian CARE, he was given an opportunity to serve in the prison, drugs, and AIDS ministry. Coming from a first-hand experience, Sam could relate to the predicament of the people he served, especially those from the prison and addiction background.
‘It’s really not easy to change our lives,’ Sam expressed, ‘and I wouldn’t have been able to do so if God and caring people did not give me a second chance. My own experience made me realise how insidious addiction can be, as well as the importance of a second chance and a rehabilitative platform for those who are in addiction to turn their lives around. And my own experience also made me realise that you and I can play a part in bringing hope and transformation of lives to those who are in need.’
It takes humility and courage to be vulnerable about a stigmatic past, yet there is also transformation in Sam’s powerful testimony. It is about a redemptive God and what the support of a loving community can bring into a person’s life. For the community of faith, it is also a challenge about the power of our influence and roles as healers and beacons of hope in this broken world.
Sam’s story is part of a concerted initiative by Malaysian CARE to raise awareness and advocacy for people struggling with addiction. You can watch Sam’s video on Malaysian CARE’s Youtube channel
To find out more about how you can help, visit malaysiancare.org All photos kindly contributed by Malaysian CARE.
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