Money, money, money

13 March 2015 by Adeline Lum CM-

 

When I look around the world—mesmerized and captivated by what wealth and possessions can bring—the Lord has opened my eyes to the deceitfulness of wealth.

Mark 4:19 says, “but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”

I wondered to myself, “Why and how is wealth deceitful?” The love of money is evil. (1 Tim 6:10) Yet clearly, we know that money in itself is not evil. In fact, money if stewarded well, can bring many good changes in this world.

But money becomes deceitful when we began to believe that it could buy us the fulfillment of our deepest longings. And for me, my deepest longings are the desire to feel accepted, belonged, and loved. Unconsciously, everything I have pursued for—having better looks, being more knowledgeable, earning a higher salary, expanding my network, and being more refined in taste—is driven by this desire to feel accepted, belonged, and loved.

 

 

I came to believe that money is a versatile tool to quickly increase my worthiness to fulfill all these longings.

If I spend more in a gym membership, this would make me look more attractive. If I earn a higher salary, this would make me look more successful. I am not saying that taking care of our body or earning a higher salary is bad. But I am amazed with how I have placed my worthiness based on all these things. Furthermore, it is affected by how well my peers are doing around me.

 

 

Seriously, whose approval am I trying to gain here? God or men? It’s funny how I am looking for acceptance, belonging, and love in all the wrong places, when God already said to me, “You belong to Me. I accept you as My child. And I love you unconditionally.” Although I am a wretched sinner deserving no grace or mercy from God, God has proven my worthiness as His child by dying on the cross for me. In other words, God is saying, “You are to die for.” And here I am, mulling over this question, “Am I worthy?”

Of course we are! I do not know when I have began to allow the world to place a price tag on me based on what I do—what I am doing for my career, how much I am earning, whether I am married or not, whether I am beautiful or not, whether I am smart or not, and whether I am this or that. Why am I allowing the world to define me when God has already defined me as His beloved daughter? As the Creator, doesn’t He have the final say of who I am?

 

 

The chase to feel worthy is futile. Even when we have achieved all these benchmarks to feel worthy, the chase is unending. We will never feel worthy because there will always be a higher benchmark to achieve. It is like catching the wind. Proverbs 23:4-5 says, “Do not weary yourself to gain wealth, cease your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself like an eagle that flies towards heaven.”

And to be honest, am I totally freed from the tantalizing things that wealth offers? It would be a lie to say yes. I am a struggling sinner. And I need to come before God to ask Him to keep me humble and give me wisdom. I need God to open my eyes to see things from His eyes. I need His grace to keep following Him.

 

 

And no, this is not an article to glorify those who are poor or demean those who are rich. In God’s eyes, richness and poverty does not really matter. Many businessmen shared with me before, their times of overflowing blessings and times of empty pockets. The main subject is not how much we have at any time. But it’s to do with our attitude during good times and bad times. Are we good stewards of money during good times and hard times? Are we still thankful to God even during hard times? Do we choose to remember His Goodness during hard times? Do we draw closer to Him or blame Him for our hardships? Do we still rejoice in Him in difficulties? When life treats us unfairly, do we leave our faith or do we stay? Do we still keep our integrity although it hurts? Do we keep scores with those who hurt us?

1 Cor 4:2 said, “Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” And Prov 28:20 says, “A faithful person will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.” Driven by greed, a person falls into the trap of making tiny compromises, before falling into the ditch.

 

 

I wrote this article because greed has harboured in my heart many times. I have an unseen veil of ego covering my eyes that I forgot about God. In light of the upcoming financial burden this year, I can see many of us would probably feel anxious and worried. But in this time and hour, I also believe it is an opportunity for us to draw closer to God. And this is also the opportunity for Him to loosen the bondage of having our finances define our worthiness, when it should solely lie in Christ.

If anything, through my lack, I realized that I can’t but God can. I can’t be good on my own strength, but God can provide me the strength. I can’t love people on my own accord, but God’s spirit enables me to. I can’t give out of my selfishness, but God’s spirit causes me to desire to give. I am nothing without God. I cannot live without Him. And this is the truth. 

 

 

Matthew 16:26 says, “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

When we place God as number one in our life, as the centre of everything, all decisions become clear. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

And Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rusts destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

 

 

My heart was in gaining the approval of men, instead of gaining the approval of my Father in Heaven. At times, it went chasing after the applause of men out of covetousness and jealousy. Ecclesiastes 4:4 say, “And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Why are we comparing? Why are we competing? Are we not one body in Christ in the Kingdom of God? Are we not brothers and sisters bonded by the blood of Christ? We are called to complete each other in love, not compete. 

 

 

Mostly, I forgot an old oath I made and that is to offer the burnt offering of the “best part of the meat” to my God in Heaven. And for me, the best part of me as a living sacrifice is my youth, the time where my vigour and strength peak. And because of that, I want to spend this part of my life with Him. It sounded quite noble. But far from that, I know that I am a wreck and I need God in my life. I need His grace and mercy to help me follow Him. Yes, I will be tempted. And I will be continually tempted. But I pray that God will keep my eyes affixed at Him and I hope I can finish this race.

 

 

With this ending note, I would like to ask my brothers and sisters-in-Christ who reside in the different houses of God, for the Spirit of God to inspire you to write stories of God’s hands in your life and in your church. Like how Paul wrote to the church in Thessalonica or Philippi, we want to hear about what God is doing in your church and what you are doing in love for each other in Him. We ask for Kingdom writers. We ask for a Kingdom mind-set. And we ask you to be one with us, as the bride of Christ, as one family tied together by His blood. 

 

 

May you persevere and continue the good work. The Lord is with you. And we trust—with fear, humility, and love—that our Heavenly Father is with us as well.

God bless you.

 

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