4 March 2015 by Adeline Lum CM-
A girl that lights up the room with her bright smile, Pearline Gan suddenly found herself carrying the responsibility of being a pastor’s daughter.
But while she attempted to fit into her new role, she realized her real identity lies not in being a daughter of a pastor, but a daughter of her Father in Heaven. And by the blood of Christ, she knew she is accepted into one big family of Christ.
“It’s actually very hard for me during the transition period of everything,” said Pearline, recalling how her father moved from Seremban to Yong Peng in Johor to pastor a church there.
Not only she needed to adapt to her new role as a pastor’s daughter, she had to adjust to a new environment and make new friends, under many new restrictions. So, at 13 years old, Pearline quickly learned to be responsible and to be careful with what she says or does, under the scrutiny of the adults then.
“I didn’t think much of experimenting during that age. But it just somehow burdened me. I said to myself, ‘I am a pastor’s daughter, can I do this?’” said Pearline who was concerned with how people would reflect her behaviour on her father’s parenting.
“I was really unhappy and I told my lay pastor about it. And he said something that really changed my whole mind-set. He said, ‘Pearline, you are not a pastor’s daughter but you are God’s daughter.’ And I was mind-blown,” said Pearline.
His words lifted up the unconscious and perpetual pressure she felt to perform in becoming the ‘role model Christian girl’ amongst her peers.
“In the end, I realize that we stand as sinners before God, not as Mr Who or Mrs Who, who and who’s daughter or any rich person. Everyone stands equal as sinners before God.
“I don’t live for others but I live for God, which is deeper. It’s not superficial faith anymore. It’s more like walking with God than anything. Everything I do is to please God instead of pleasing others,” said Pearline.
Sometimes, there are certain things in life, which we cannot control. But since God placed us in a particular situation, we need to learn. Once we find our identity in Him, everything will fall into its place.
“I build my identity based on God having chose me to be His daughter and Christ having chose me as His sister. When we know that we are accepted into this big and beautiful family, we see things from a wider perspective.
“We would not care about what other people think about us anymore. Even if one cares, he or she will probably care about it for two months. And then, they will forget about it,” said Pearline who found no reason in grumbling or feeling sorry for our distressing situations.
Adversities in life have matured her faith. But to Pearline, these adversities are actually blessings in disguise!
“The process of adversity is really painful. But when we are done, we actually learn something from it, we acquire something from it, and we can really bless other people.
“Adversity really builds character. It makes people more mature but it depends on how we choose to deal during the process. We can either avoid thinking about it or run away from the environment, or we can choose to stay there and learn something,” said the wise 21-year-old Pearline.
Out of her adversities, she saw the hands of God weaving a beautiful picture of her life.
And one of the adversities she recalled occurred during her Form Six. A technical error misplaced her in the science stream, and she was forced to study two years of science during Form Six.
“At that time, I really feel lowly of myself. I nearly cried whenever I did not understand. I feel so bad about myself,” said Pearline of her academic results.
But thinking back now, Pearline understood how this experience is good for her because she could understand the feelings of people who failed their subjects. Many of her friends found comfort in Pearline for the similar experiences of failing.
“I will just tell them that having bad grades does not mean that you are stupid. It just means that you are smart in other things. There are many things that you do, which I cannot do, and vice versa,” said Pearline who found empathy and love for her dejected friends.
Completing a college degree in early childhood education now, this experience has also helped Pearline to empathize with and encourage students who struggle academically.
Remember that our confidence lies not in who people say we are, but who God says we are. We are the daughter and son of our Father in Heaven. Because of that, we only need His approval.
And because Pearline found her identity as a daughter of God, she found eternal freedom in fully being who God meant her to be.
| Share the Good News |
Leave a Reply