In an increasingly disconnected world, there is great need for families to come together again in tighter and more interpersonal bond. For Christians, especially, this familial bond is reflected in the very nature of God Himself as a triune Godhead of Father, Son, and Spirit. Throughout Scripture and through our relationship with God, we know Him as the Abba.
Recognizing the importance of this area in the Christian life, Family First recently launched its Malaysian initiative at an event held at UCSI’s Le Quadri Hotel. Taking on a mission for building a legacy and a strong family as well as making homes an oasis through strengthening marriages and enhancing parenting skills, the Malaysian chapter of Family First is headed by bro Tan Tek Seng who is also the Deputy Chairman of Family First Asia.
Family First Malaysia was in effect already conceived two years ago, and in April this year, it was officially established after finding the right partners. The event was also graced by representatives from the universal community of Family First, from Indonesia as well as China along with well-wishes from Family First Partners from the USA, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia & the Philippines.
In his address bro Tek Seng shared that a family is like a tree whose branches may grow in different directions yet it is rooted to a core root or foundation. One such root is the families that God has given to us. Family First Malaysia was thus founded on a shared vision as a community-focused organisation and is committed to serving the larger community, regardless of ethnicity or religious background or social status. The organisation is built on a goal of supporting parenting led by the fathers and supported by the mums as locomotives to reach the community to build the society towards a strong nation.
A platform that Family First Malaysia is embarking on this year towards that goal is through a fatherhood course guided by Professor Gregory W Slayton’s book, Be a Better Dad Today!
Professor Slayton has a record of distinguished service in the academic, business and governmental fields. He was the US Ambassador to Bermuda under Presidents Bush and Obama, and he was honoured for his diplomatic work there with a Distinguished Foreign Service Award by the Congressional Black Caucus, the first Republican to receive such an honour.
Professor Slayton has also been on the cover of TIME Magazine and on the board of Google and salesforce.com. He is the successful CEO of four Silicone Valley companies and has served as an executive in McKinsey & Company and Paramount Studios. He graduated with Honours from Dartmouth College and the Harvard Business School and he also earned a Masters in Asian Studies as a Fulbright Scholar. Today Professor Slayton is a distinguished visiting lecturer at Harvard, Stanford, Dartmouth, as well as Beida University in Beijing.
When it all comes down to the core though, the subject matter that is closest to Dr Slayton’s heart is on strong and wholesome fatherhood. Chairman of the Fellowship of Fathers Foundation, he lives to strengthen fathers, family and faith throughout the world.
The Honorable Gregory Slayton did not come from a privileged familial background. When he was a young teenager, his father abandoned the family and threatened them never to come and look for him. He knows what it is to grow up with an absent father and what it can do to a child’s life. He shared that the scar is still with him and that in those difficult years it was a neighbour Christian Chinese family that gave him the experience of growing up in a loving family.
‘At first I thought it was because they were Chinese but I grew to learn that there was something more; that they were Christians and knew a God who loved them and was paying forward that love in return,’ he expressed. Growing up in two different family backgrounds, Dr Slayton learned an important fact of life. In the introduction to his book, he wrote that fatherhood is the most important job a man will ever have.
Through the more than 30 years he had spent studying fathers and fatherhood in widely different societies and cultures around the world he has learned of the impact good or bad fatherhood can do to societies. ‘Being a good father isn’t easy, and there is no instruction manual. It’s pretty much a 24/7 labor of love. Not only does the future of civilization depend on how we collectively do our jobs (as fathers) but also our children’s future and our own future depend on it as well.’
Professor Slayton’s book Be a Better Dad Today! is very much a joint effort with his wife and it is founded on what the Slaytons call the Noble Family Vision. The Noble Family Vision is a map of the future to which dads and mums are trying to lead their loved ones. It will help fathers to learn and envision the type of father and families they want to become. It will also be especially helpful when the storms of life set in.
The book is not just a collection of advice but is supplemented by 10 tools of fatherhood, each of which are rooted in faith, hope and love, and all of which are timeless and have worked both in the Slaytons’ own personal lives as well as in many of the lives he has observed all over the world. Many of these real-life encouraging stories of hope are shared throughout the book with empathy and in a down-to-earth manner.
An overview is given for the 10 tools and then each of them is covered in detail in their own chapters. The ten tools are Family First/Family Fun, All-In Marriage, True Moral Compass and True Humility, Heartfelt Love, Empowering Servant Leadership, Relationship Tools That Work, Heaven’s Help, Other Good Dads, Optimistic Never-Surrender Attitude, and Dynamic Whole-Person Support. Each chapter is closed with questions for reflection and a complete guide on actually putting them to work.
The book has already sold more than 250,000 copies, every cent of royalty of which go towards family foundations that the Slaytons support, and there are many testimonials about the book’s practicality and helpfulness by many influential and successful fathers.
Family First Malaysia is committed towards helping dads make full use of the material within the book. A course, consisting of guided studies of the book’s chapters as well as interactive activities is being held at the CCM building at Jalan Universiti on the 25th of June and 2nd of July 2016 from 9am-5pm. It is being conducted by Yoong Fan-Ngian and Sian-Li who have been married for 44 years and involved in family therapy, mentoring and training students, individuals, couples and groups in marriage and parenting courses nationwide, including 4 years as Family Development Managers of Alpha Malaysia.
Sharing about why they have taken the effort and hours to prepare the course materials, Sian-Li expressed good-humouredly that they didn’t want the book to be bought and left on the shelves, as is typical with most Malaysians. ‘Families really do matter and this program will hopefully produce good seed. We want people to gain value from the effort and heart that Dr Slayton has poured into his book,’ she conveyed.
NOTE: All pictures kindly contributed by Family First and Luxeray Visual. The book ‘Be a Better Dad Today!’ can be found at Canaanland. For Enquiries to the course you can contact Family First at familyfirst.my@gmail.com or call 019-2263824.
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Jason Law
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