Enhancing the Promise, Avoiding the Pitfalls in Lay Counseling

30 June 2013 by Natasha Kim CM-

 

Dr. T. Maniam talked about lay counseling and how Christian Counseling (CC) holds much promise. It returns the counselee to wholeness, not only by using human resources and skills, but with the wisdom of God’s infallible Word, and the help of the divine counselor Himself. The talk was given at the 3^rd National Association of Christian Counselors Malaysia (NACC).

 

 

Life difficulties are part and parcel of being fallen human beings. “We are all part of the fallen human race because we are children of Adam and Eve. People need to recognize the reality that we cannot live in a world that we have made for ourselves. There is absolution from sin but none from reality” said Maniam. Often people create their own realities in their minds about Christianity, but they forget they have to go back to the foundation, which is the Bible.

Now you do not have to be a counselor to care for others but counselors are in fact able to care in more a meaningful and in depth ways. He shared that the reasons it doesn’t always work out is not so widely acknowledged. “Many others have had to go seek help elsewhere, some have gotten worse, and a few have taken their own lives. If CC is to help all, we must find out why it does not benefit some” shared Maniam.

 

 

“A symptom becomes a disorder when it causes us severe distress” said Maniam. When this happens it affects our bodily functions. It is important to be able to differentiate between disorders and illnesses because if the problem is severe it is best treated by psychologists or psychiatrists. He also mentioned that many disorders need physical treatment in combination with counseling and therapy. This is important because if the differentiation cannot be made, people suffer.

People often confuse feelings of depression with depressive illness. Human problems are complex. Difficulties may grow into illnesses and that’s where lay counselors come in, to try n help prevent that.

In addition to that, the reason counselees are protected is because the relationship between counselor and counselee is not an equal relationship because counselors have power over counselees.

 

Principles that Govern Counseling

 

 

• Ethics – respect for autonomy, beneficence (doing good), non-maleficence (do no harm), justice (fairness), fidelity (trust and confidentiality)
• Objectives – guidance, re-assurance, advice, encouragement, ventilation of emotions, clarifying, thinking, re-orienting goals and aspirations and accepting limitations.
• Overarching Scriptural Truths – man is made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) ; yet he has an affinity to other living creatures (compare Genesis 1:30 to with 2:7); man as a person is profoundly deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9 – applies to both counselor and counselee).

 

Nature, Nurture and Grace

 

 

God doesn’t change to fit us, we change to fit Him. It is the nature of God that helps us respond in different ways.

“So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.”    (2 Corinthians 5:9)

The verse above tells us that our goal is to please God whether we’re alive or not. Most people who suffer from problems suffer a multitude of problems that can be linked together because a human being is body, mind and soul. God heals people in answer to prayer but he may choose to heal people through means e.g medication, therapies etc, because it is God that has enabled people to discover medicine. God chooses to act differently in different people’s lives.

 

Pitfalls

• Focusing on therapeutic technique, and ignoring therapeutic relationship
• Transference and counter- transference
• Therapeutic boundaries and boundary violations? Should a counselor treat his/her friends or church members?
• Unhelpful attitudes towards modern psychology and psychiatry- these are not witchcraft!
• Change the tool to fit the task, not the other way around. There is no single technique for all problems. One size does not fit all!
• Are techniques evidence based? What are the accepted techniques for common problems?

 

The basic skills that can avoid this pitfall is active listening, both verbal and non-verbal as well as simple behavioral techniques (not to be treated as unspiritual). Supervision can also help whether from peers, family or colleagues.

 

 

Furthermore, when giving re-assurance Maniam shared that re-assurance must be appropriate and timely. “The desire to re-assure can give them false re-assurance, and that is not right” he said. He added that, “There are limits between counselor and counselee that we cannot cross, such as dating your counselee or helping them financially” Counselors must remain boundaries to protect counselees.

At the end of the talk, Maniam encouraged all counselors to set boundaries and rules before counseling and to think everything through and be realistic. Proper CC counseling has put many lives back on a firmer Biblical foundation, but it has to be done properly and with proper guidance.

 

 

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