Edited from a testimony by Hooi Mun Keat
Psalm 34: 17-18
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The verse came to me as I came to know the testimony of Hooi Mun Keat, a brother-in-Christ who had suffered through depression for 10 years, and who finally came to be delivered not long after he came to know Christ. One of our previous writers, Joseph Tan, observed that when society becomes more affluent, the type of diseases facing us switch from being physical to being mental in nature.
Depression is often an upward struggle and in a society still stigmatised with mental illness, it can also often be a lonely journey. The person may look healthy and fine outwardly, but the suffering is constant and has an effect on the person’s quality of life, and unlike physical illness, only the person’s own breakthrough can best overcome the struggle. Due to its inward nature, this can be very difficult. The good news is that God understands our pain and He has the power to break us out of the bondage.
At 42, Mun Keat still looks youthful and jovial. However, depression had been a reality in his life for more than 10 years before he came to know Jesus Christ. He shares, ‘I am 42 years old this year, but I have only accepted Christ at the “youthful age of 41”. I have a Chemical Engineering Degree from the University of Malaya and currently work as a Lead Process Engineer in an Oil & Gas Engineering Consultant company.
‘The nature of my work is project-based and it is very schedule-driven. The daily routine includes frequent meetings, checking calculations, and preparing reports while at the same time managing teams of junior engineers.’ In this extremely high-paced environment, Mun Keat became a highly demanding individual both in his own performance and his expectations of his teammates.
In 2011, while in his early 30s, Mun Keat was assigned to Turkmenistan for one of Petronas’s projects. While there, he noticed that his emotions were constantly on the low side. ‘There was a constant negative feeling that I was not performing as well as I did. No one was complaining about me other than myself. Initially, I attributed the negative feelings to cultural differences. Things took a drastic turn when I returned to Malaysia, handling an even more demanding project.’
As he took on more responsibilities, putting more hours into his work, even on weekends, Mun Keat’s life became so centered on work that he could be driving or sleeping, and the unfinished work would still come into his mind. ‘Suddenly, I discovered I could no longer focus,’ he shared. ‘Things that I previously completed easily took a much longer time. There were times I stared at the computer screen blankly, unable to think. I was not able to have a good night’s sleep, often waking up at 2-3am, feeling the tremendous pressure of my pile of unfinished work. In an effort to get some rest, I turned to liquor to knock me out for a few hours. I lost all interest in simple things like swimming or socializing.’
In 2012, Mun Keat went to see a psychiatrist, Dr Francis Low. That was when he was confirmed to be suffering from depression. Dr. Francis prescribed Lexapro 10 mg pills and advised Mun Keat to be less demanding in his work, to which he blatantly told the doctor that it was impossible.
Mun Keat relates, ‘Lexapro is an alternative to Prozac and both drugs function to increase the level of serotonin, which is the “happy” hormone, to treat the symptoms of depression. With the drugs, I was able to sleep better but I would wake up still feeling sleepy. That is how powerful the drug was.’ However, though the drug was powerful, it was still not able to fully eliminate the signs of depression. ‘When the situation became worse, I increased the dosage to the maximum 20 mg. The sign of hopelessness still crept in occasionally, with a constant voice convincing me that I was worthless. There were also faint thoughts of ending my life. I tried to focus on my past achievements, but it did nothing to counteract the negative thoughts. The thought of quitting my job frequently came to my mind but I realized I have parents to take care of and bills to pay.’
Mun Keat talked to one of his close friends about his condition but as is often the case, for people who have never gone through it, it is hard for them to understand. ‘It is easy for them to brush it aside as just stress that will go away. There are good days and not-so-good days. During the good days, even I could not understand why I was feeling so depressed for such a small matter. So I would not expect normal people to understand,’ he shared.
From 2017 to 2021 Mun Keat went to work in Thailand for 5 years. ‘I usually got my pills from Malaysia. During the MCO period, I started panicking, as my pills were dwindling, and I could not fly back to restock. That was how dependent I was on the medicine. I managed to get the supply in the end.’ It was also during the pandemic time (2021) in Thailand that he started to know Christ. ‘When the border reopened, I resigned and decided to take a break from my career. With no work stress, I was able to reduce the dosage.’
A year later, in 2022, Mun Keat joined the Christ Lutheran Church (CLC) Setapak and received his baptism in December of that year. ‘I considered myself a new Christian but very passionate about Christ,’ he expressed. ‘I regularly did my Bible Study. When I started working again in February 2023, all those depression symptoms came back with a vengeance. The heavy workload and tight schedule forced me to work up to 60 hours a week. I was at my lowest and darkest pit, having symptoms such as vomiting, waking up in the middle of the night feeling tense, and a sense of worthlessness.’
This time, however, Mun Keat knew that he could not continue to battle this depression with drugs alone. ‘After becoming a Christian, I know that I am now a Child of God and I have a loving Father in Heaven. I cried out to my Abba Father, “Lord, I no longer want this spirit of depression to have control over me, please take it all away from me.” I quoted scripture from 1 Peter 5.7 “Cast all your anxiety on HIM, because he cares for you”. I worship the Lord during my morning drive to work and at night before sleep. Don Moen’s “I Am The God That Healeth Thee” became one of my favourite songs to sing.
‘I believed with all my heart that my Father will heal me. I also regularly attended the prayer meetings on Wednesday and Friday. Brother How Chai, one of the Church Prayer Leaders, would pray for those who suffered from depression. Every time I heard this prayer, I always said “I receive it in Jesus’s name.” I even openly challenged the Devil, that the more he attacks me, the more I will praise the Lord.’
Within a few weeks, in March 2023, Mun Keat started to feel changes come into his life. Even with a heavy workload, he no longer has all his previous negative emotions. He reduced the drugs dosage in stages, monitored his condition, and subsequently stopped completely from taking the drugs.
‘I found after stopping to take the drugs that things did not get worse, but on the contrary, I felt better even compared to my “better days” while on Lexapro. I was amazed because the Lord answered my prayer in such a short time! I rejoice and give thanks to the Lord!! He is truly my Jehovah Rapha, my Healer,’ Mun Keat expressed in happiness and gratitude.
The Lord Jesus Christ delivered Mun Keat completely. ‘I waited for more than six(6) months until November 2023, and the depression never came back,’ he shared. ‘It was truly a miracle that only our God can deliver. My faith has grown and I am even more passionate for Jesus now.’
It takes a lot of courage to share something so personal, but bro Mun Keat has a new-found assurance, confidence, and security in knowing his identity in Christ and a life of purpose. He hopes that his testimony will be a message of encouragement for every Christian who has struggled with the same things he once had, ‘To every Christian out there suffering similar conditions as me, this is a message of hope. Be patient and the Lord will answer your prayer in time.’
Note: Depression is little understood in Malaysia today, and its sufferers often fear being stigmatised and viewed as weak. Christianity Malaysia would like to thank bro Mun Keat for his openness and generosity in sharing his story, with the aim that it will bring encouragement and a ray of hope into the lives of those who are suffering from the same conditions he once did. A word of thanks as well to Dr. Chow Li Sze for connecting us. May our readers be blessed and encouraged never to lose hope in Christ. All photos of bro Mun Keat kindly provided by him.
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