Dealing with the School Bully

28 Feb 2013 by Mindy Oon CM-

 

So what are we, as Christian parents, to do when our kid gets teased and pushed around in school? Having a toddler in the house makes me wonder what will be happening when my child goes to school in a few years, especially when I hear of a friend’s kid getting kicked (literally) around in his first year of formal education. As Christian parents are we to just advise our children to turn the other cheek and hope that the bullying stops? Or should we send our children for kungfu lessons and tell them to fight back? What really, is the best way to respond to those whose aim is to make life miserable?

 

 

Bullies have often been stereotyped as the large kid with spiky hair that steals recess money, pushes other kids in the playground, and stuffing them into school lockers. I remember once my assistant class monitor locked someone in the school toilet to make the poor girl hand over her lunch money (thank goodness she was fired from her post!) However, these days, bullies come in all shapes and sizes and due to social media, are much more involved in everyday life. At times, they are nearly impossible to get away from.

The majority of students have Facebook, are pros when it comes to text messaging, and usually have Instagram or some other media site that allows them to be connected to their friends. These days, bullies have the advantage of making threats, blackmailing and intimidating people online. So what can we do to help our children if they are facing a bully?

 

 

First, evaluate your child’s relationship with the bully. Is it really a bully, or a friend having a bad day? Is this person upset with your child over something that happened? Does your child owe them an apology? Next, evaluate the severity of the threats. Does your child feel scared, or worried that the bully will harm him or her? Take appropriate steps to protect your child if indeed the situation is one that you know will end badly.

 

 

God doesn’t like bullies, as we can see in 2 Kings 2:23-24: From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out or the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. However, as followers of Jesus, we are also encouraged to love our enemies, so our prayer would probably be for God to give us peace and understanding of this person.

 

 

As with all tough situations, it is hard to think that something good can come out of a child getting bullied. However, James 1:2-4 says:

Count it all joy, my brother, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

 

It can be hard to consider getting bullied ‘all joy’ but here are a few thing that one can learn from facing a bully – conflict resolution, the value of words, overcoming obstacles, and trusting in Jesus to come through. It is an opportunity to grow!

 

Also, consider reading the book of Proverbs with your child. This book provides encouragement, and also insight on the difference between wise people who follow the Lord, and fools who are always trying to cause trouble. For example, Proverbs 4:14-16 reads:

Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil. Avoid it, do not go on it, turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong; they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.

 

Finally, try to move on! As parents, we need to teach our children not to let the situation hinder their lives, and to not focus too much on what the bullies say. Giving attention to them would only empower them to be more hurtful. Remind your child that God has a specific plan for him or her, and remind your child how God sees him or her. Encourage your child not to let someone who does not know their purpose stop them from living the life that God wants. Remind them of Jeremiah 29: 11 which says:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

We have been created in the image of God, and are exactly the way God wants us to be.

 

Dear Viewers in Christ, if you find this article edifying to you, please share with your friends or loved ones by using the social media plugs (Share, Email to this article). The Lord will surely bless you as you bless others. May the Lord’s peace and love be with you.

 

References for pictures:

http://www.anchel.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/image11.png
http://static.edvantage.com.sg/site/servlet/linkableblob/edvantage/636934/topImage/Eye_on_bullying-topImage.jpg

http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/school-bullying02-353×300.jpg

http://b.vimeocdn.com/ts/284/067/284067131_640.jpg

http://fhpresbyblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/the_second_mile_2pe.jpg

http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/173/7/f/a_light_unto_my_path_by_phatpuppyart-d54cwhe.jpg

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-6_hgPI6-rBs/T9SfUrB8BBI/AAAAAAAACck/d_JzYNGQfCs/w497-h373/For%2BI%2Bknow%2Bthe%2Bplans%2BI%2Bhave%2Bfor%2Byou%252C%2Bdeclares%2Bthe%2BLORD%252C%2Bplans%2Bto%2Bprosper%2Bu%2B%2526%2Bnot%2Bto%2Bharm%2Byou%252C%2Bplans%2Bto%2Bgive%2Byou%2Bhope%2B%2526%2Ba%2Bfuture.%2B-Jer%2B29.11.jpg