It’s probably safe to say that most Christians, for the most part, have good intentions. However, we also often tend to stick our feet in our mouths multiple times over, making all the good stuff we want to say just come out wrong—sometimes making us sound ignorant, judgmental, condemning, or just plain mean.
While it is true that God can use even donkeys to speak His truth, as He did in the book of Numbers with Balaam’s donkey, we must also never forget that every word that comes out of our mouth as Children of God has the ability to either draw people to Christ or push them away from Him.
Evidently, this tendency of saying the right things at the wrong times, or attempting to convey truth in all the wrong ways is not something that is new. Apparently, the churches in Ephesus and Colossae also made the same mistakes, which resulted in Paul warning them to be careful with their words.
In fact, if we go back several thousand years to Solomon’s time, he had plenty to say about words as well, and his father, David, was no stranger to the wayward tongue either. In Psalm 141:3, David cries out to God, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
Should that not be a prayer for all of us? Perhaps we may think, “Well, David was king of Israel. Of course he had to be careful about what he said—lives literally depended on his every word.” Yes, that is true.
However, we must also realize that as insignificant as we think our words may be, lives also depend them. A person’s spiritual life and death—for all eternity—could very possibly be hanging on the balance due to something we said. Because one simple careless remark from us has the potential of causing someone to think, “You know what, I want nothing to do with your Jesus.”
Of course, God in His sovereignty has the power and ability to override our mistakes and use them for His good, but that does not give us an excuse to be careless with our words. As believers, it is our responsibility to speak God’s truth to anyone who will listen, but that is the key: to anyone who will listen. God’s truth may be the ultimate truth, but we also need to depend on the Holy Spirit to know when to say certain things, and to word them carefully and tactfully.
Just think about it. The Internet is a wonderful tool. It connects the entire world in a matter of seconds and messages can be sent and received faster today than at any point in history. But that also means a wrong message can be transmitted that much faster. One rash post on Facebook, one frustrated rant on Twitter, one callous comment on YouTube… and it’s out there for the world to see.
We often say that the Gospel is offensive and that we need to stand up for the truth. Yes it is, and yes we do. However, wisdom, discernment, and restraint are also necessary practices to exercise if we truly have a heart for the Gospel because the Gospel has always only had one goal, and that is to mend the breach between the non-believer and his Creator.
We know that Jesus was controversial, bold, and very, very blunt. He said things like “you white washed tombs” and “you brood of vipers.” But we also know that His harsh words against the Pharisees and teachers of the Law stemmed from a place deep within Him that yearned for their repentance from their self-righteousness and spiritual blindness.
His heart has always been about conviction of one’s sinful nature, which leads to remorse and repentance, and the seeking of forgiveness and reconciliation with God, but never about ridicule or belittlement. He never spoke for the sake of sounding smart or said stuff just to make people feel bad about themselves, but always provided them with a solution—a way out of their unrighteousness, which was Himself.
And so it should be with us. When we talk about Jesus, our focus should be on helping people recognize their sinfulness and their need for a Savior—their need for redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ. There really is no point in us saying, “You sin, you sin, you sin,” without offering an exit plan.
Talking down, shaming, and attacking people with Scripture has never done anyone any good. They cause people to either become angry and defensive, or become so filled with guilt and shame that they believe themselves unworthy of forgiveness.
They drive people to dead-ends, instead of the wondrous byway that Jesus offers us through His death and resurrection. In James 1:26, James goes so far as to say, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”
Of course, there are always people who are going to be unhappy about the things we have to say against sin. Because sin is pleasurable, and the Bible says, “Stop it.” Naturally, those who don’t know Jesus have no reason to follow what Jesus has to say so there really is no point in us harping over how much Jesus condemns their sin. Sanctification is a process that happens after salvation and it’s silly of Christians to try to sanctify those who have not even arrived at salvation.
But our job is to bring them to salvation. To love, honor, and respect them, and to show them that while we were dead in our sin, God demonstrated grace. We should want them to know that we still sin every single day, but Jesus bears them for us and renews us every day, even as we strive to sin less and less. It is one thing to claim to speak the truth in the name of love. It is another thing to actually speak the truth in love.
So let us pray the prayer that David prayed, as we continue to share Christ’s love with everyone we encounter, whether it is at work, at church, at pasar malam, or on the Internet: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”
Let us also take Paul’s admonishment to heart: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person,” (Colossians 4:6) and “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).
As Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived once said, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body,” (Proverbs 16:24) and “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent” (Proverbs 11:12).
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Esperanza Ng
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