{"id":35343,"date":"2014-07-22T08:00:04","date_gmt":"2014-07-22T00:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/?p=35343"},"modified":"2022-02-18T14:31:06","modified_gmt":"2022-02-18T06:31:06","slug":"committed-when-you-dont-feel-like-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/committed-when-you-dont-feel-like-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Committed When You Don&#8217;t Feel Like It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">22 July 2014-<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">We\u2019ve all felt it the &#8220;Hey, what about me?&#8221; syndrome. Sometimes it sneaks up on us when we feel that our emotional needs aren&#8217;t being met \u2014 and we resent it. Or maybe we have a hard-to-love spouse and we\u2019re tired of trying to make things work. That&#8217;s when the &#8220;Hey, what about me?&#8221; syndrome hits. When it comes, and we&#8217;re feeling sorry for ourselves \u2014 or just plain tired of trying \u2014 what can we do?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_35346\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-35346\" style=\"width: 527px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-35346 wp-caption aligncenter\" title=\"Ref : resources3\" src=\"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/775999-tired-parents.jpg\" alt=\"Ref : resources3\" width=\"527\" height=\"296\" srcset=\"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/775999-tired-parents.jpg 650w, https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/775999-tired-parents-300x168.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 527px) 100vw, 527px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-35346\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">Ref : resources3<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Choose<\/strong>\u00a0to make wise decisions. Don&#8217;t rely on feelings or emotions when the going gets tough. Our feelings don\u2019t carry us to the right decisions; rather\u00a0<strong><em>right decisions carry us to right emotions<\/em><\/strong>\u2014 and positive rewards. Here are a few ways you can exercise your will over your\u00a0<em>emotions<\/em>:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Decide to take &#8220;divorce&#8221; out of your dictionary.<\/strong>\u00a0My husband, Bill and I have counseled couples back to happiness from all kinds of crises: loss of a child, loss of a home, all kinds of addictions, affairs, and a whole lot of &#8220;I\u2019m tired of trying&#8221;. But just because you feel you want to file for divorce doesn\u2019t mean you should! When you make the decision to take \u2018divorce\u2019 out of your vocabulary, then can you begin rebuilding your desire for marriage and your desire for your mate. If you have to dig up some motivation, think of:<\/span><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Your kids.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">All the time you have invested in this relationship.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">The statistics that have shown that couples who are miserable now, but stick it out a few years later, rate their marriages and lives happier than those who went ahead and got the divorce.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u200b\u200b<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_35351\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-35351\" style=\"width: 565px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-35351 wp-caption aligncenter\" title=\"Ref : tipsywriter\" src=\"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/break-up-break-down-1050x700-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"Ref : tipsywriter\" width=\"565\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/break-up-break-down-1050x700.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/break-up-break-down-1050x700-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 565px) 100vw, 565px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-35351\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">Ref : tipsywriter<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Just start where you can. Even if you don&#8217;t feel like you want to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Decide to choose joy.<\/strong>\u00a0Sometimes life is not fair. Sometimes marriage isn\u2019t fair. It is for richer or for poorer, sickness or health, and for better or worse. Jim and Sally Conway, in their book titled\u00a0<em>Traits of a Lasting Marriage<\/em>, surveyed couples who had long-term happy relationships and the secret they discovered was that those couples had\u00a0<strong>decided<\/strong>\u00a0to be in long-term happy marriages!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Deciding to choose joy, to be a happy person regardless of the circumstance, is a decision that will create happiness. If you go looking for happiness as the goal, you\u2019ll never find it, because you have no control over circumstance and you don\u2019t have control over your spouse. But you do have control over yourself and your emotions. If you choose joy, soon you will find you have it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_35348\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-35348\" style=\"width: 624px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-35348 wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 634px;\" title=\"Ref : volusion\" src=\"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/SC127-2.jpg\" alt=\"Ref : volusion\" width=\"624\" height=\"698\" srcset=\"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/SC127-2.jpg 804w, https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/SC127-2-268x300.jpg 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 624px) 100vw, 624px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-35348\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">Ref : volusion<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Some things to help you choose joy might be:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Making a list of the best traits<\/strong>\u00a0of your mate\u00a0(there may only be a few), then deciding to compliment one each day.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Doing things you love<\/strong>\u00a0that are <em><strong>not related<\/strong><\/em> at all to your relationship: lunch with a friend, a walk at the beach or lake, a day at the spa even. Sometimes you just need an emotional time-out to regain hope and strength.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_35349\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-35349\" style=\"width: 636px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-35349 wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 646px;\" title=\"Ref : westirelandcycling\" src=\"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/cyclists_10.jpg\" alt=\"Ref : westirelandcycling\" width=\"636\" height=\"477\" srcset=\"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/cyclists_10.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/cyclists_10-300x224.jpg 300w, https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/cyclists_10-260x194.jpg 260w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 636px) 100vw, 636px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-35349\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">Ref : westirelandcycling<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\"><strong>Decide to be the best.<\/strong>\u00a0A woman asked me if she had to submit to a husband who wasn\u2019t living up to his part of the bargain. She said, &#8220;It doesn\u2019t seem fair.&#8221; She\u2019s right. It isn\u2019t fair. Nonetheless, both spouses can&#8217;t just wait it out to see who will step up to the plate and be the bigger, better person. Someone has to choose to serve the other in love first. You can hold on to being right, but you will probably be left holding just your opinion \u2014 and not your marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Life is full of choices. Wisdom is a gateway to happiness. We need to remember these things and make wise decisions for life \u2014 even when we don&#8217;t feel like it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_35350\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-35350\" style=\"width: 670px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-35350 wp-caption aligncenter\" style=\"width: 650px;\" title=\"Ref : caregivers4seniors\" src=\"http:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/SeniorAsianCouple.jpg\" alt=\"Ref : caregivers4seniors\" width=\"670\" height=\"420\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-35350\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">When you are married, you are making a commitment to grow old together.<\/span><br \/><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">Ref : caregivers4seniors<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">This article was published with permission from Focus on the Family Malaysia. For more information, please visit or contact us.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">6-2 Jalan Bersatu 13\/4, 46200 Petaling Jaya<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">+603-7954 7920<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">focus@family.org.my<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">www.family.org.my<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Facebook [focusonthefamilymalaysia]<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Twitter [familiesMY]<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Check out our Marriage Campaign! Visit us at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.marriedforloveforlife.my\/\">www.marriedforloveforlife.my<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt; font-family: verdana, geneva;\">Focus on the Family 90-second audio program is aired over TRAXX FM at 8.15 a.m. and 6.45pm every Monday to Friday<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 12pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-size: 24pt; font-family: 'trebuchet ms', geneva;\"><span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><em><strong>| Share the Good News |<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: 'trebuchet ms', geneva; font-size: 24pt;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mh-excerpt\"><p>22 July 2014- \u00a0 We\u2019ve all felt it the &#8220;Hey, what about me?&#8221; syndrome. Sometimes it sneaks up on us when we feel that our emotional needs aren&#8217;t being met \u2014 and we resent it. <a class=\"mh-excerpt-more\" href=\"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/committed-when-you-dont-feel-like-it\/\" title=\"Committed When You Don&#8217;t Feel Like It\">[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":35351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[293,923,204,538,1178,5657,77,891,44],"class_list":{"0":"post-35343","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-inspirational","8":"tag-christian","9":"tag-christian-in-malaysia","10":"tag-christianity","11":"tag-christianity-malaysia","12":"tag-church-in-malaysia","13":"tag-committed-when-you-dont-feel-like-it","14":"tag-jesus","15":"tag-jesus-in-malaysia","16":"tag-malaysia"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35343","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35343"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":66266,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35343\/revisions\/66266"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christianitymalaysia.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}