Finding Hope in Christ in the Pain of Walking with Him

23 Sept 2014 by Adeline Lum CM-

You are right. It’s not easy to walk with God. And no, I am not chasing away folks who are interested to know Christ.

I have accepted Christ when I was 15 years old. After nine years, I finally gave my life back to Christ and I expected a smooth life, where God would take care of everything. You know, I would fall into the right career, which pays me well doing what I love. I would have time to spend with family and friends. The person I meet would just be the right person—no bumps, no errors, just a smooth path of heaven on earth.

I hate to tell you this. But these are not the full reality at all. They are all inaccurate.

Let’s fast-forward to what is happening four years from the time I gave my life back to Christ. My career has been…. to say the least, different from what I expected. I returned to Malaysia after studying overseas, expecting myself to be a power-career-lady scaling the corporate ladder through double glass doors and golden elevators. I did. I entered a multi-national company, the most prestigious one in my field. But I realize working in a corporate is not quite my habitat. So, I asked for a job for more time with God.

Ref: 8tracks

The Lord amazingly opened this door as a writer for a Christian media, much to my surprise. Although I did think about working for a magazine, never have I thought there would be an online Christian media in Malaysia.

There was a struggle between choosing a stable-income job in a multi-national company and choosing to become a writer (which I was never familiar with) for a non-profit start-up. It sounded risky but the desire to join this start-up was strong.

How about love? Both of us met with a simple desire to want to experience love. Both of us believe in God. So, while we look towards the future with hope, it did not work out in the end.

So, here I am, thinking where are the promises of God? Is this what I signed up for?

Well, my dear friends… let me break it to you. Being a Christian does not mean that everything will work well. Sometimes, you go through a roundabout, make a reverse, and go through several bumps in life. You cry out to God when things don’t work, “Why God? Why have You treated me like this? Why have You not answered my prayers?”

As much as all of us would like to always make the right decision and discern God’s voice, being a Christian is not a point to achieve but a journey to take with God. Sometimes, we make the right decision having heard correctly from Him. Sometimes, we make the wrong decisions having discerned incorrectly from Him. Sometimes, we bring pain into our own lives because of sin. Sometimes, the pain is brought by God to discipline us to be better people. Bottom line is this: all things work together for the good of those who love Him. (Rom 8:28)

As long as our heart is right in God, it doesn’t matter that we are in the wrong place at the wrong time because eventually, the Lord will lead you to the right place. So, do not be afraid to take on this life with boldness and freedom.

Also, yes, walking with God does not mean we will never ever make mistakes in life. We may make fewer mistakes (if we learn from them) but let us be kind to ourselves when we do, and perhaps also to other people who have hurt us. Although God has already forgiven us, we are still sinners and imperfect. Forgive yourself and forgive others. Though this truth is plain and simple, I find it funny how I am still surprised when troubles come my way, as if God’s pleasure on me has left. But the Bible has clearly stated do not be surprise of troubles in your life. (1 Pet 4:12) And God has pleasure on you not because of your merits, but He has appointed favor on you as His beloved child.

Also sometimes, I feel that a believer-in-Christ feel most lonely among their pre-believer friends. And the leaders feel most lonely among the people they shepherd. In the name of so-called protecting God’s image and a Christian image, sometimes I find myself sweeping my troubles under my feet with a happy mask proclaiming everything is fine. If I am known as the woman of God, then nothing should perturb me because God is my strength. How can I even lead someone to Christ or lead my brothers and sisters-in-Christ when my life is far from perfect or just plainly messy?

Well, the truth is I am a human (This is such a revelation!). Your pastors are humans. Your cell group leaders are humans. We, as believers-in-Christ, are humans. Is not pain a normal occurrence in our life? Are we all freed from road accidents, terminal diseases, and other misfortunes in life? If not, why are we not allowed to feel sad or disappointed? Does it really bring glory to God to cover all our struggles and weaknesses beneath our rug and paint a rosy picture for the people around us (especially nonbelievers)? If life is so perfect, where is the need for God in our life?

If anything, even though I am a writer for a Christian media who supposedly receives God’s Word like an overflowing cup, I can tell you there are days I feel downright fearful of my future, I get angry with God, and I find myself unhappy with the people around me. But I can also tell you that during these days, God has never given up on me and continually pursues me as that one lost sheep from the pack.

So, yes, that’s the beauty of the gospel. The gospel is about Christ accepting and loving you as everything you are—good and bad—even though you are unfaithful. Yes, He sees you to the last bits of your ugliness and weaknesses. Yet, He never turned away because His Love is unconditional.

I believe in God not because I am a ‘superhuman’ against all predicaments of life. I believe in God simply because He is real in my life. I prayed to Him and He answered my prayers, whether it is a yes, no, wait or even His silent presence. Through my life of daily walking with God, I learned what the Bible said about Him is the truth—not merely a fluke or a fairytale for the naive.

This truth is real to me because I have personally experienced His Goodness. So, yes, my faith in God is not only based on doctrine or His Words (though they are a fundamental part of my faith), but really experiencing His Love for me. And no, I am not embarrassed to tell you that the troubles I go through in life because it is through my weaknesses… your weaknesses… that Christ strength is shown.

Now, that is what I believe an authentic faith is. Life is not rosy all the time walking with God but it’s worth it.

You are freed to be who God made you to be. I see how God fashioned every child of His to portray different images of Him at different angles. Yes, we may come in different sizes, talents, skills, and personalities, but all of us have one Father in Heaven. As what the Thai phrase says, we are ‘same-same but different.’ So, I don’t see each of us fitting into this robotic and rigid mold of man-made rules of what a model Christian should be like, though we live according to the principles of the Bible.

I believe all of us are uniquely made. You are made to be you and I am made to be me. Hence, there’s no point comparing and competing on who is better or who is worse? Why divide the body of Christ through denominations, doctrines, and preferences? The Lord rewards us individually without favoritism. Why should we set each other as benchmark to compete? If anything, we should only look at each other for encouragement because the rewards in Heaven are unlimited and freely available for everyone.

Perhaps then, a food for thought, can we try to be less of a ‘Christian’ but more of a person who loves God and enjoys God’s love even in pain?

At the end of the day, I believe the gospel—if presented in its real and authentic way—is very attractive. What are people looking for in the world today? At the heart of theology, what people are really looking for is true love… the love that comes first from accepting them wholly for who they are.

Did Jesus turn away the tax collectors, the prostitutes, and the so-called great sinners in life? Remember He came to save the sick, not the healthy. (Mark 2:17) Hence, if you doubt God’s love for you, remember that He has loved you even before you accepted Him. He loves you while you are a sinner (though after accepting Christ, God no longer sees you as sinful). Do not be afraid. God loves you.

It’s time for you to love and accept yourself for who you are…and what I mean is everything.

Hence, the conclusion is this: Believing in Christ does not mean you are freed from pain because pain is part and parcel of life. But in pain, we can still have hope that none of our pain is wasted and at the end of the day, they are worth it in Christ.

Have faith. Do not be afraid. After all, you are the child of God.