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Have you ever questioned as to why some people do not really enjoy peace and joy in their lives? Why do they often struggle to accept others and the difficulty of flowing with others? They become introvert and lonely. They cannot sustain long term friendship. They fall out of friends easily. They are judgmental and critical. They may be very religious, praying, reading the word and going to church. Some are even leaders in church but their lives do not reflect the fruit of the spirit.. 

One of the common characteristics is that they always try to justify themselves. They will always say other people are wrong, they are right and perfect. They demand forgiveness and apology from others. They turn out to be no better than unbelievers. In fact there a lot of outsiders who are more forgiving and kind than the stubborn church going Christians. What would you think of such people? Do they really belong to the kingdom of God?  

What did Jesus say? If you do not forgive others my Heavenly Father will not forgive you.

When we hold on to unforgiveness and we live with grudges we are only building walls of separation. We may think we are protecting ourselves but in reality you aren’t! We will be simply isolating and feeling lonely and miserable wrapped up and imprisoned by our own bitterness.


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You know what? Those walls that we build around ourselves will also block God’s blessings and favour from pouring out into your lives. Can you imagine when God’s favor and blessings are not flowing in your life? 

Jesus prayed to the Father for those who were crucifying him on the cross. “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” How could you not forgive when the Son of God Himself chose to forgive? Jesus says if you do not forgive neither will your Father forgive you.



You know what? When you choose this line of action to forgive you will discover, very quickly:


No.1) It increases your energy,

No.2) It builds your potential. In other words you become productive in whatever you are doing.

No.3) It brings God’s grace and favour on you

No.4) Your life span and health increases tremendously. You will have long life.


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It will contaminate everything you do in your life, it doesn’t matter whether you call yourself a church-going Christian or not. It is sadly so unfortunate to see Christians hurting Christians, Christians holding unforgiveness towards one another.

Time is speeding past us and in fact we are running out of time so to speak. Meanwhile, many lives have been fractured, many families have been divided and many people are sick and miserable because of the “bitter root of unforgiveness.”Many people are not able to come to terms in view of hurts and pain derived from unforgiveness and bitterness. It is a sorrowful state because of “this bitter root” which is unfortunately not dealt with in many lives,  Christians particularly. 


Hebrews 12:20

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.


Bitterness is more devastating than betrayal. 

Betrayal is something others do to you; bitterness is something you do to yourself!

The hardest time to be gentle is when we assume we are right in our own eyes and somebody else is wrong and very quickly and very easily we pronounce judgment on others according to their ACTIONS and we judge ourselves according to our INTENTIONS and in most cases we end up becoming  bitter, hurt and sorrowful.



Increasing medical evidence has been revealing that the root of bitterness and unforgiveness is largely responsible for a lot of psychosomatic and physical illness in human beings in the present society. When you hate somebody you kill yourself either directly or indirectly!

You know what? When you withhold unforgiveness, you not only hurt the other person, but you hurt yourself more!

You lose the joy of living. It hangs over you like a cloud, affecting everything you do. You become drained out, you age fast and you look miserable.

No matter how much you try to hide yourself under a plastic covering, one can at a glance decipher the condition of your heart. Because Prov.4:23 says “Out of the heart flow the issues of life” But when you forgive, you release peace, joy and restoration to the forgiven and also healing to your body soul and spirit.

You can see the sparkling and glow on your face because what is in your heart will always be transformed into the expression of your looks.





Despite all your good excuses to justify yourself  for being where you are for withholding forgiveness to somebody, may I say to you, God will never compromise with you no matter how good your excuses maybe.

But you know what? In the midst of all this, you and I are so fortunate to live in this world. Let us be thankful and grateful for God’s goodness and mercy upon us. The mercy God has shown us let us reciprocate the same mercy towards others.  


Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? (Mt 18:33)


Let us no longer hold on to bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. The test of love is to forgive the guilty! That’s what God did for you!! The question is: “Can you pass the test?”


Only when you are at peace with others then you can have peace with God and the peace of God that passeth all understanding will remain with you for ever. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  ― Mahatma Gandhi


Note: Rev Dr Jai Kumar is an ordained & licensed minister of Covenant Ministries International N.J. USA. He is a mission minded pastor who carries an apostolic anointing who preaches and teaches an uncompromising gospel with boldness. A member of ECCM (Malaysia) Spiritual Adviser & overseer to various ministries and churches. An itinerant speaker. He is also the author of a book entitled, ‘God’s Time Clock.’ Currently he worships at C3 Subang.






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Rev Dr Jai Kumar

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