My wife just doesn’t appreciate the value of good caveman communication.
The basic communication difference between men and women is this:
- When men have something to say, they get right to the point.
- When women want to say something, they eventually, in the fullness of time, after carefully outlining the background information and trying a few practice landings, approach the point of getting to the point.
My wife, Dale, recently walked up to me and said, “Honey, you know all those decorating magazines I have been saving? Well, I know you want me to get rid of them because they are stacking up, but there is a lot of really good information in them and it would just be a waste to throw them away. My friends don’t mind if magazines are out of date because there are wonderful ideas in the seasonal issues. The box is too heavy for me to lift, but since I will be seeing Fran and Sandy at church and since we are taking your car . . . “
I had to interrupt.
“Hon, I have a vague sense that you are asking me to do something, but I have absolutely no idea what it is.”
“That’s because you are still learning that communication is more like a good book than a Post-it note,” she replied. “Next week’s lesson is about why ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’ does not constitute a meaningful conversation.”
“Ook, ook,” I responded.
If the average guy wanted to ask someone to put a box of magazines in his car, he would say, “Yo! Put this box of magazines in my car.”
My wife is semiastonished by the fact that I can pick up a crate of outdated magazines and stick them in the car without even wondering where she is taking them, why she is taking them and what will be done with them.
This is all part of that “for better or for worse, in poetry or in monosyllables” thing. You can take my (very brief) word for it.
Dave Meurer hefts boxes of old magazines in Northern California.
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His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage
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