16 May 2013 by James Hoh CM –
The pain of death of loved ones put in the hands of God gave way to the birth of a healing ministry that help many who were stuck in the groove of grieve and unable to get out. This is the real life story of Dr Edmund Ng and Pauline who both lost their spouses and helpless in their pain with no one trained to help them walk through the process of grieve.
As The Word says,
“All things work together for the good of those who love Him" and are called according to His purpose,”Romans 8:28
This sad story was the beginning of a story of healing for the many people whom both Dr Ng and Pauline have ministered to.
They are now not only ministry partners but life partners joined in matrimony and running the ministry called “Grace to Grieving Persons” in Kuala Lumpur.
Dr Ng recalled his journey of agony: “Just when my late-wife was doing so well in bringing people to Christ, intracerebral aneurysm suddenly struck her. An artery’ in her brain burst. “The vein in the brain was brittle and was a heredity issue. I was left traumatized and devastated. How could anybody reconcile to this,” he asked.
He was then the elder and pastor of the River of Life church in Segambut, Kuala Lumpur. He has lots of friends and some were pastors too but none of them was able to comfort and care for him.
“At that time I remembered a case in which the prominent former judge Tan Sri Eusoffe Abdoocadeer shot himself to death three years after his wife passed away.
“The coroner ruled that he took his own life due to masked depression caused by unresolved grief. Before his suicide that shocked our nation, every year he advertised in the newspapers telling how much he missed his wife. Actually, those were the signs of his call for help but no one noticed the signs and helped.
“The churches don’t know how to care for the bereaved. This was the reason why I took up a counseling course in Australia. I went through grieving while I was studying. Later I furthered my studies in grief therapy in the United States.
Dr Edmund Ng conducting a seminar on grief
“I struggled with God while I was studying counseling in Australia. I was very angry with God because my late wife was very fruitful as a Christian and helpful in the church. My world collapsed when she was taken home so suddenly. I could not reconcile to this,” Dr Ng added.
He is the only USA Certified Thanatologist (Grief Therapist) in Malaysia. He is also the President of the National Association of Christian Counselors of Malaysia (NACC) which organizes an annual national conference for equipping pastors and Christians.
This annual conference will be held in June 2013 this year
Dr Ng related God’s calling for him. “God confirmed His calling by matching me with Pauline. Two years later we married. She had lost her husband and was stuck in grief for seven years,” he added.
Pauline doing a one-on-one session at GGP Outreach
“There was no support for her but she slowly confronted her nightmare and came out of it herself. We learnt about each other’s background and felt the calling. We started GGP immediately after our honeymoon.
“After the grief period, I ended up being close to God. I found that the experience has made me richer as I have grown spiritually during that year in Australia.
“The struggles with God were valuable because I confronted the issue of death and life. I sought God deeply. It was a time for both questioning God and dialoguing with Him. And finally, I came to a conclusion… to reconcile with God’s Word.
Dr Edmund and Pauline with their three children
“Memories will always come back but when you come to terms with your loss, the emotions will not overpower you. You will be able to handle them.
Emotionally healthy family determine a happy family
“It is sad that some people are still unable to handle their emotions after 20 years and this is because they have not walk through the process of grieving.“
Dr Ng said that Grace for Grieving Persons (GGP) can help them because “we not only journey through the process with them but also help them to grow spiritually.”
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