20 Feb 2013 by Jane Beh-
God has worked in my life in many ways throughout my secondary school life. I’m 18 years old and currently in college. But every time I look back, I’m still amazed at how God had worked in my life. I went through ups and downs, but God was with me in every step, whether I realized it then or not.
One of the biggest ways God worked in my younger days was through one of the biggest mistakes I made, and that was falling in love with an unbeliever. I am not saying that all unbelievers are not good boyfriends or girlfriends but in contrary, some of them are really good ones, like the one I fell in love with. He treated me like I was the most precious thing to him in the entire world, and we always had a common topic or hobby of some sort. We got together and dated for three years.
In the first year, it was a honeymoon. I knew from Christian upbringing that the Bible says “do not be unequally yoked” (2 Cor 6 :14) but I still carried on. I thought, what is the worst that could happen? He loves me, and I love him, and we will be ready for whatever the circumstances. I even prayed really hard and had faith that one day he would become a believer. And since he always had positive feedback when I shared the gospel with him, I believed even more. He said he would consider believing in Christ after he graduates from high school.
However, in the second year, I slowly became complacent about sharing the gospel with him. I kept thinking he would accept when he is ready for it and he does not need me to continue ‘forcing’ him into Christianity. But I was wrong, and instead of keeping the faith, I slacked and I put my boyfriend as my priority instead of God. As a result, I backslid and got further away from God. It got so bad at one point that I could not feel God’s presence and I did not find any point in praying anymore. I felt God wasn’t answering, but really, I was the one who wasn’t listening. To make things worse, my boyfriend and I started to build our relationship based on physical needs. The Bible says our body is the temple of God (1 Cor 6:19) but I did not keep it pure.
Thus, in the third year, we started having many disagreements and huge quarrels, probably due to our unstable foundation in the relationship. At last resort, I found myself turning back and crying to God for direction and asking Him to lead my way. I started to realize that I had put God second, and God was only so distant because I was sinning and I was not obeying Him. I had put my own wants against His will. I relied on my own strength, when God is really the one that I should rely on. I finally got down to my knees and repented. And finally, with God’s strength, I broke off the relationship. In my farewell words to him before we graduated, I told him, “If we were meant to be, then one day we will meet again when you are changed and a believer in Christ.”
All these might sound easy but the truth is: it was really painful and hard to let go of something so precious just for the sake of obeying God. Other than the pain from breaking up, none of my closest friends (mostly non-Christians) really understood what I did and there were so many people having negative perceptions about my decision. Despite all that, I didn’t feel lonely, because I finally felt God was right beside me! And I was right with God, and that was most important to me. Even though the condition I was in was tough, I felt free as a bird, because I was free from sin, and that felt really good!
I praise God for helping me grow so much in maturity and my Christian brothers and sisters who supported me through all these. Indeed, God knows all things. And He always has a plan for us, even in our trials and challenges, to mould us to become Christ-like for His Glory!
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