8 June 2014 by Adeline Lum CM-
How many of us are a toe-dipping Christian in our life? We dip only our toe into the waters, testing whether the water is hot or cold, waiting for a just-nice temperature for us to dive in.
I have many friends, who believed in Christ. Yet, they always tell me that it’s not time yet for them to commit their life to Jesus.
They are well-behaved Christians—good staffs and colleagues, do not swear, and generally helpful. In short, they are very good people.
But there is something… something holding them back from knowing Jesus, from diving deeper.
I have been through that myself.
I accepted Christ when I was 15 years old, but I never devoted my life to Him until nine years later.
The funny thing is that I always believed that I have a relationship with God.
I am a Christian. I am a believer. It feels safe to be able to gain access to a higher power when I am in need. But, most of the time, I believed I could handle my life fine without the hands of a higher being.
People, who go to church and cry their hearts out, seem to me, quite wimpy and weak. Unable to face the pressures of life, they had to appeal to the help of other people and yes, God, to fix their life.
I, on the other hand, need nobody except for myself.
Believing in Christ and having to depend on Him was a sign of weakness to me. It is a declaration that I am wimpy, broken, and weak.
Another reason why I never did the dive into Christ but I am happily dipping my toe in it, is that I feel the Bible is a book of rules, which I am never able to fulfill.
A particular Bible verse struck my heart as impossible to fulfill, or at least something I refuse to do, is the verse where Jesus said, “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also.” (Luke 6:29)
That verse agrees with my preconceived ideas about Christians: yes, they are a bunch of people who are called to be doormats of the world.
Besides, why would I want to proclaim that I am a believer in Christ when I cannot follow most of the teachings inside? What hypocrite is that?
Why would I want to wear a banner that tells people that I believe in Christ, yet… well, I didn’t live the way a Christian should.
Plus, I don’t want to be known as a person who’s a Christian but does this and that, which a Christian should not.
So, what change?
Why have I changed from a toe-dipping Christian to someone who dived deep into the waters, fully engulfing my body?
I came to a point where I realized that yes, I am broken, weak, and I need God. True story.
There came a point in my life, where I have no motivation at all live a meaningless life chasing the wind. The emptiness inside was only temporarily filled by this fleeting euphoria of my lifestyle that left as fast as it came.
I sat down and think what do I really want for my life? Do I want to constantly chase for something, like a carrot hanging over my neck? I kept moving forward, but I never actually attain or taste the carrot?
It is utmost tiring, and unbearable.
Do I want to chase this image of a ‘perfect me’ or the ‘better version of me’ or ‘the person I want people to think of’ for the rest of my life?
It is exhausting to even think about it. Life is just so meaningless.
I can never please one person all the time because one person may change; let alone pleasing the whole world.
I don’t want to live my life pleasing a changing world, with changing people and changing opinions.
One day, I could be the top of the world. The next day, if I don't keep up, I will be the refuse of the earth. The fall and rise of men can just happen at a nick of time.
I know that I need to find something unchanging and eternal to based everything that I am on—someone that is unaffected by the tides of this world and eternal beyond the limitations of time.
Ending a relationship during that time as well, I began to think is there anyone in this world that can be truly compatible with the other person?
Can two persons communicate and understand each other so well that they fit like a key into a keyhole?
That can only happen if the other person has complete access and infinite memory to everything that I say and do (since the day I am born), whether in public or in private.
Who and what can fulfill all these things?
Only God can; that made sense to me because only He is unchanging, eternal, and unaffected by time.
He is the only constant.
He knows everything about me (I am saying every single word said and thoughts since the day I am born!).
And the best part about God—my God, my Creator, the Creator of this Heaven and Earth, the King of Kings, Lords of Lords—is that He… loves… me for me.
He knows everything about me, yet He loves everything about me.
I do not need to be someone else. I do not need to be like this person or that person. God created me to be me.
I am finally freed from chasing the applause of men, which withers and changes like the wind.
I am here only to please one person, and that is my Creator and Jesus Christ, the Lord and Love of my life.
Life becomes really simple. I look nowhere else but Jesus Christ. He is the answer for everything I want and I desire in my life.
God never fails. His love never fails.
His love is the highest form in this world, because I can do nothing to repay Him or earn His Love.
Yet, God gave everything He has to me. He sent His beloved son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for me, so that I can be called His Daughter. God calls me His Own. He proclaims his banner of Love over me.
I can live truly a life of complete restedness, joy, and peace in Him.
Dive deep in God. Don’t toe-dip. The best relationship in this world is a relationship with God.
Drink his deep peace. Feel the saturation of His Joy in your soul.
Is not life meant to be an adventure?
That adventure can be known when you walk with Christ, the Living God who hears you, talks to you anytime of the day, cares for you, loves you for who you are, and carries you through every trouble and trial.
A life without fear. A life of freedom. It only made sense to dive deep.
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