4 Myths about Relationship Debunked

15 Feb 2014 by Adeline Lum CM-


Valentine’s Day is yesterday, where some of us who’re single cannot help but wonder when the Lord will bring someone into our lives. A friend once amicably joked that Valentine’s Day is in fact, a ‘Single-Awareness Day’!

Jokes aside—while romance is still in the air—here are a few myths about relationships to debunk:


MYTH #1 Only Desperados want to get married

Firstly, it’s not wrong to desire to get married, and it’s not embarrassing to admit that. Desiring for marriage and being desperate to get married are two different things. Hence, there’s no need to feel awkward when this subject is brought up in church. 

Marriage is designed by God, a union between a man and woman for life (Gen 2:24), which depicts the picture of the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5:22-23).




Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (Eph 5:22-23)


Lift our desire to the Lord because He knows what is best for us. Yet, remember that we are already complete in the Lord. He is enough for us and able to provide for all of our needs (Phil 4:19).


MYTH #2 A Godly Love Story follows the same pattern




Secondly, everyone’s love story is different. We do not need to compare someone else’s Hollywood-style-love-story-made-in-Heaven with another person or ourselves.

While one may appear to be more sensational, the Lord knows our heart and what suits us. He is not only the author of our faith (Heb 12:2); he is also the author of our love story as well if we trust Him and place our relationship at the altar.

Just look at some of the characters in the Bible— Boaz and Ruth, Isaac and Rebekah, David and Abigail, and Queen Esther and King Xerxes. Are they all not different?

Some of us are still waiting, while some of us have already found the godly person we are with now. Bottom line, each of our love stories is unique!

Trust in the Lord because His unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him (Psalm 32:10). Submit to His Ways and acknowlege Him in all you do, He will make your paths straight (Prov 3:5-6)


MYTH #3 Praying is a passive move in finding a lifetime partner




Thirdly, prayer is an active act of surrendering to the Lord. It is the FIRST step to everything you desire. Now, not everything we pray for will come to pass, but one that God deemed best for us.

Sometimes, we know what we want, but we may not know what we need. God, on the other hand, knows what we want and what we need (Psalm 37:4; Matt 6:8)!

Hence, lift up your desire for a relationship in prayer to God. Spend time with Him. During this period of drawing closer to Him, He may not give you the man or woman you’re looking for. But He will certainly lead you to become a better and a more Christ-like person (2 Cor 3:18) during the wait. In short, prayer place God in an active role in helping us find our lifetime partner.


MYTH #4 If God has someone for me, he or she must be perfect!

We need to be realistic with our expectations. While God’s choice for us is the best, this man or woman will not be perfect. The only perfect person is Jesus Christ.

Hence, a feasible way to know whether we are realistic in our expectations is to look through the list of qualities we are looking for in a lifetime partner; and ask ourselves, “Are we able to fulfill all these qualities?”


So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Matt 7:12)




With these 4 myths of relationship debunked, the only perfect and complete love comes from our Father in Heaven through his son Jesus Christ.


This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.(1 John 4:9-10)


We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19). While waiting or searching, remember that you are very much loved!


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